The Diary of the Insanely Disturbed
by moonlitStarDestiny
Summary: Rin is a mute girl, who has a haunting past. Living life with a scar, and her muteness, in school is hard. But when she meets Sesshomaru, can he help her get through it all?
1. The first Entry

**The Diary of the Isanely Disturbed**

** By: moonlitStarDestiny**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or the character that are in this story...but I am not not crazy...wait...thats...nevermind.**

Moony: I am relieved! I just finished my story Finding My Soul, which I must say, was pretty good for my first fanfic, but I am still writing This one's for the Sesshomaru and Rin fanatics, but n-e-wayz I luv Sesshomaru! and Naru-chan.

Sesshy: Again I am being tortured by Moony.

Naru-chan: I luv u too.

Sesshy: You love Moony?

Naru-chan: Of course, pretty boy.

Sesshy: Oh yeah? Well I loved her first!

Moony: Guys, guys, its okay you can share me!

Thoughts are ' ' and sign language is

**Chapter 1: First Entry**

Dear Diary,

Well, its very nice to meet you diary. I hate winter, of course, that was a random statement. The reason why I hate winter, is because of what happened during winter. I wish that I could tell you, but I can't. Its not that I am not physically able to, its just mentally and emotionally impossible. Or I will break down into tears. But I will try to tell you later. My best friend and foster sister is called Kagome. My foster family is the Higurashi's. They own a shrine near the busy city of Tokyo. Kagome is so nice to me. Before I go on, I must tell you that I am a mute. Yes, I cannot talk. Its not that I can't, well now i can't, its that I never wish to speak again. I don't know exactly why, but I have never spoken since I was 12 years of age, when I witnessed my parents... But ever since then I haven't talked. Afraid they would ask me about it... School starts tomorrow and it will be my next year in high school, and my last. Kagome has already set out her suit which consists of a white and green top with short short skirt. Personally I hate it. But thats just me. Well I am 16 at the moment and Kagome is 18. She has a boyfriend named Inuyasha who likes to tease me, but hes like my brother. I love him and hope Kagome marries him. N-e-wayz I dislike the prep Kagura (just to let you know who my enemy is) but I could never hate her. I am just like that, but I hate winter. Nice to meet you diary.

love,

Rin

Rin closed the lavender book carefully and placed it under her pillow. She looked at the cieling and sighed. Tonight, always before school, she could never find it in her to fall asleep. She looked at the neatly pressed school uniform and wondered if people at school were going to be nice to her, or if she was going to get teased like she did in the last high school. The scar circling around her arm from top to bottom was something to make fun of, along with her muteness. Rin was pretty, so Kagome said, but Rin thought otherwise. Rin looked at the clock beside her and it read 3:46 am. She decided she was hot so she sat on top of the bed sheets.

Turning onto her other side she got up and picked up her uniform and underclothes. She grabbed a towel and entered the bathroom. Turning on the shower, she opened her mouth to speak. But nothing came, she couldn't do it. She ran the water over her pale skin and her dark hair (with shampoo of course). She got out and dried her body putting on the underclothes and her school uniform. She readied all her belongings for school and sat down on her bed. She looked at herslef in the mirror. Her dark hair shone in the moonlight and her skin was lit up too.

'I am pretty' she thought to herself, ' I look like my mother' she mouthed the words to the mirror. Her sad face looked ever sadder today. She put her now dry hair into her regular hair style, a half-ponytail to the side. Her hair curled up a little making the bottoms look spiky. It was beautiful to others, but to her it was like dread.

She sat on the bed for a while and looked at the clock. 6:00 am. She reached over and turned off the alarm that was about to go off. She ran into Kagome's room and waited for the alarm to sound off. Kagome shot up from her sleep to see Rin smiling at her. good morning sleepy...get ready today is the first day of school! Rin sign languaged to Kagome. "You stayed up all night again, didn't you?" Kagome asked. How'd you know? Rin asked.

"Thats just like you, on important nights when you need sleep you stay up!" Kagome said, "Then again, do you ever sleep?" she smiled at her little adopted sister. "Aieyah! I need to get ready!" she said runnning to the shower room.

Rin ran downstairs to find Mrs. Higurashi cooking breakfast. Grandpa was sleeping on the couch and Sota was running about trying to find school stuff. Rin threw Sota somethings he passed right by and she went to hug her foster mother. "Rin was up late again..." said Mrs. Higurashi. Gomen, mother, You know me! Should i wake Grandpa up? She asked Mrs. Higurashi. "Yes, please do."

Rin shook her Granpa and he woke up. "I'm up!" he said and ran to the kitchen. Rin sighed and picked up her backpack Kagome ran into the living room and pulled on Rin's arm,"Come on, we gotta meet Inuyasha at the bus stop!" Rin started to run too.

Inuyasha was waiting at the stop and as Kagome came up and grabbed her up and kissed her. Kagome giggled as he let her down. "Oh look, its Rin." he said and hugged her. "Haven't seen you in a while." he ruffled her hair a bit. Rin backed away so as not to look bad when she went into school.

"Listen I was thinking you guys like to come over and meet my family." he said and smiled. "We'd love to right Rin?" Kagome smiled at Rin. "Good, come over tonight at 5:00!" he said and they headed off towards the school.

When they got there, Rin headed towards her first class. She breathed out in relief as she found her friend Kohaku sitting in front of her. The teacher banged on his desk to direct their attention towards him. "Class, My name is Mr. Sake, this is Math." some students giggled, but he went on. "This will not be a fun class, so you better figure that out right quick. I will come to each of you to see what your name is and background info is, will start with you..." he pointed to a girl with white hair and black eyes. "What is your name?" he started. "Kanna Bato" she stated shyly with no feeling at all.

And so forth...until he came to Rin. Poor Rin. "What is your name?" the teacher looked at her. Rin was silent and started moving her hands in sign language. "I spoke to you young lady, answer me!" the teacher said in anger. Rin motioned towards her throat and made a little slashy gesture. "What does that mean? Do you want ISS?" he asked angrier. Kohaku tapped him on the shoulder. "What is it Kohaku?" the teacher spun on him and waited. "She is a mute. It should've been noted on her admission slip." he said to the teacher.

The teacher went up to the desk and checked paper. "Very well, but next time don't make those useless gestures!" The class all stared at Rin. She looked at Kohaku and bowed her head slightly. He signaled to her Your welcome.

Once that class was over Rin found herself wondering where to go next. She spotted Kagome, but paused when she saw her sister hanging out with her friends. She quickly turned and landed smack into the girl with the white hair. Kanna her name was. "I'm sorry." said the girl and helped Rin up. Rin bowed at her, but Kanna held onto her arm. "I know sign language." the girl said to her. "Do you need help getting around?" the girl persisted. Yes...I am very lost lol Rin smiled at Kanna. "Okay I can help you around, what do you have next?" Kanna asked. Gym. Rin said to her (in signs of course, I'll stop reminding you but remember she isn't talking when I said 'said')

Kanna walked with Rin to the Gym and said, "This is my next class too, be prepared to wear short shorts, I think the person who designed these outfits was a perv." she laughed a little but stopped as they got into the locker room. Everyone looked at them with looks that said, 'What a bunch of freaks.' Rin grabbed her new gym uniform and took of her clothes in a stall. She placed the short sleeve shirt on and looked at the scar outlined in a tatoo of electric blue. The man had put it there, to say that she was his...Nevermind. She placed on the shorts that looked like the bottom of a two peice and stepped out. Her shiny long legs stood out to be beautiful to those around her, but to Rin she was disgusted.

She looked at the shorter Kanna, and walked up to her. "Well, one of us looks good." Kanna said looking at herself in shame. You mean you? Rin smiled at the smaller girl. "Yeah, I mean me." she giggled, but stopped as others walked past.

They walked outside to find Kagome with her friends again. Kagome spotted Rin this time and called her over. Rin walked over and pulled Kanna with her. Kanna was frowning. "Rin, how could you ignore me like that?" her sister joked and out an arm around her. "Rin these are my friends, this one is Miroku-" she stopped as she saw him edging closer to Rin. "Don't even think about it!" she smacked him. "Oww, hi Rin, your pretty, will you bare my children?" he grabbed her hands. Rin smiled uneasily and looked at Kagome. "No, she will not." she answered for her. "She was thinking about it though." Miroku winked at Rin. Rin blushed. Kanna sat there with no look on her face at all. Rin still held her arm. "This is Sango." she said pointing to an athletic brown head. "Nice to meet you Rin." she held out her hand. Rin looked at it, Kagome was about to speak to Sango when she took Sango's hand and shook it.

Kagome smiled at Rin. "This is Ayame." She pointed a red head. "Wow, Rin you pretty tall for your age." she shook her hand and Kagome said, "This is Shippo." Shippo smiled at her and said, "Miroku was right, you are pretty." Rin blushed again. Miroku was looking at her scar. Do they know sign language? she asked to Kagome. "No." she said aloud. Well then shutup, they're starting to look at my scar...Kagome, this is my friend Kanna, she is really nice. Rin pointed to Kanna, who stiffened. "Hi, Kanna, I'm Kagome, I know your sister Kagura, shes knows me too, just doesn't like me." Kagome said to Kanna. Rin stared at Kagome. Is that all you can say, Kagome, just bcuz you don't like her sister, doesn't mean she is bad! Rin looked at her sister angrily and pushed her out of the way carrying Kanna with her. Inuyasha got in her way and stopped her.

Rin looked at him angrily too and he said, "Wait a sec, I feel tension between two sisters, can't you talk it out this time?" Inuyasha asked. Rin looked at him in anger and flicked him off. Sign language for "Fuck off". Rin stormed off with a scared looking Kanna.

Kagome frowned. "Sorry Inuyasha, she hasn't been sleeping or eating lately, hopefully we can talk it out by 5." Kagome said.

The gym teacher said, "Okay, since today is the first day of school, you get free time to catch up with friends!" he said. As Rin stormed by he looked her up and down. You know those little scenes in the movies where theres music in the background, like "Wild Thing." Well that was a little moment for the teacher who was obviously a sick little perv too.

End of school day...

Rin walked home alone. She didn't want to talk to Kagome at all. Tears in her eyes made people look at her as she ran down the street. She started walking and the threatening storm clouds let its tears fall too. Rin sniffed and breathed heavily. A car zoomed by splashing water over her already soaked body. Rin kept walking. A hand came from behind and turned her around. Inuyasha stood there with annoyance on his face. "Rin, what are you doing." Rin frowned and fell to her knees, crying.

Inuyasha looked at the poor mute girl and bent down. "Come on Rin, I'll use my Hanyou powers and carry you home." he said hugging her. Rin looked up. 'Inuyasha' she mouthed. ' I am...scared.' she mouthed to him more words.

"Scared?" he asked. "Scared of what?"

Rin shook her head and trembled in the cold rain. Her hair stuck to her face and she sniffed again. "Get on my back, I'll take you home." Rin did as Inu said and laid her head against his back as he sped off.

Inu walked in and Kagome ran to him. "Rin!" she said to sleeping girl. She grabbed her off of his back and set her on the couch. "Rin." she tapped her on the cheek. Rin opened her eyes and saw Kagome on the verge of tears. "Oh Rin." Kagome said hugging her. "Why did you leave me? We always walk home together, I thought you were kidnapped!" she yelled at her angry. Rin looked at Kagome with fear and frowned. "Rin, what are you hiding from me? I am your sister, what is it you are afraid of?" she yelled at her.

You would never understand. Rin said standing, Get ready or we will be late for dinner at Inuyasha's Rin went into her and tried to find what to wear...

Moony: How did you like it? Review and tell me! I am soooo weird, but thats okay...i hope.

Sesshy: Where am I?

Moony: You'll be here, idiot! Soon!

Naru-chan: How come I never get to be the star of the fic?

Moony: I plan on making a fic about you and a special someone. Wink!

Naru-chan: YAY!

Moony: Bye! -YAynesZ! Oh yeah before I forget! Suggestion is: ElectricRain , they wrote the best Rin/Sess fanfic, it is hilarious and it sorta like a movie...Its called ummmmm... I forgot but the title has the words, Thing called love in it, oh hell, just go to their profile and look at their stories,and find the one where it says, Rin is love with Inuyasha but he is engaged or something like that lol, I am really forgetful at times...lol-..


	2. Starting to feel Insanely Disturbed!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha...T.T, but Takahashi does. I also don't own 107.5 KZL, thought J.J. McCain Rocks! And Jack Murphy! MURPHY IN THE MORNIN'!Or 102 Jamz or 98.7 Simon...-!**

**NOTE: The little star things won't show up, so I will change Rin's sign language things to ... instead of the stars, bcuz they won't show up. Okay.**

Moony: Thas you...

Sesshy: No its not me

Naru-chan: Yes is it, you were dressed up as a puppy? I was a devil, I wasn't red, but dark colors, kukukukuku

Moony: I love that laugh do it again!

Naru-chan: kukukukuku

Moony: YAY! I had a dream about you last night Naru-chan, I dremed you were trying to help me, and that I was licking your wounds...weird.

Naru-chan:Thats bcuz you love me.kukukukuku

Sesshy: Oh don't hold your breath!

Moony: Sesshy is jealous!

Sesshy: Am not...

Naru-chan: kukukukuku...

Thoughts '...' and sign language is...

**Chapter 2: Starting to feel isanely disturbed.**

Kagome came out with a short dress, that was a simple blue color. It wasn't flashy and it was suitable for a dinner with a business family. Rin came out with a black dress on. It was elegant, but also suitable for dinner with business. It hugged her form very nicely, although she thought it made her look ugly.

Inuyasha kissed Kagome on the lips and said, "Come on, you too Rin." Rin followed the couple with admirance. They were so happy together, and they were so complete. Rin was detached, and disturbed. Insanely disturbed.

Inuyasha opened the door for Kagome and Rin opened her own door. Inuyasha left it on Kagome's favorite radio station, 107.5 KZL. Rin preferred 102 Jamz or maybe 98.7 Simon. This station was okay. The song played on it was:

_...I walk a this empty street,_

_on the blvd. of broken dreams..._

And new hits like that. But that doesn't matter. Inuyasha sped along the busy streets and waved to many of his friends along the way with Kagome doing the same. Rin watched the kinda friends they waved at, the preppy, or normal people. Rin was neither. She was her own person, her and Kanna were. Rin had to admit she was nervous about meeting Inuyasha's family. 'I wonder if Inuyasha told his family about my muteness...' Rin thought to herself as they headed into an expensive neighborhood. "Kagome and Rin, my older half-brother, Sesshomaru will be here for this week, although he on the other side of your house, I mean he lives farther than me from your house, but he lives the other way. He's just visiting this week. But he is very strict and he is only 22, its like he always has something stuck up his ass." Kagome started to giggle. Rin hit Inuyasha playfully on the arm. "What? he is..." he laughed.

They started to turn into a HUGE mansion. At the gate, Inuyasha looked in the camera and said, "Let me in." The gates opened and he drove in. He parked in a parking space. A parking space. I just want to point out that not many families have their own parking space out of hundreds. Okay?

Inuyasha opened the door for Kagome, and Rin stumbled out on her own. She looked up and gulped. Inuyasha looked at her and said, "Its not that big Rin." he smirked. Rin smiled at that comment but followed them into the HUGE mansion. There were two big stair ways that met , like the Beauty and the Beast. Without the dance floor. Then when you opened the front door there were two halls leading off on either side. Then there was a big door under the stairs. Inuyasha held Kagome's hand, as Rin walked behind.

As they stepped in a woman with long black hair, and a very angelic face, with an expensive kimono on walked up. "Kagome, Rin this is my mother, Izayoi." Izayoi smiled at them. "Let me guess, the one holding your hand is Kagome your girlfriend." Kagome nodded and smiled. "And this is Rin." Izayoi looked in Rin's eyes. Izayoi took a step back at the look of misery in the girl's eyes. "I am Izayoi, Rin, We all know you are mute and we all know sign language, we learned it in case we had business partners that were mute or couldn't hear." Izayoi looked at her again.

Very nice to meet you, Izayoi-san, I am very pleased to be eating here and meeting you. Rin bowed after that and came back up smiling. Same to you, you are a very polite girl for your age. Izayoi signed to her. Thank you, ma'am Rin said back.( not really said, of course, okay I won't remind you again)

Izayoi led them into a big living room-thingy. "Please be seated, dinner will be ready shortly, I will get my husband, and Sesshomaru." Izayoi left the room. Kagome and Inuyasha sat in a love couch, so Rin took a started to sit down on the couch. When she sat down, her butt sunk into the couch like she was sinking into water. Inuyasha started to laugh at the look of surprise on Rin's face. Rin smiled in embarrassment. Kagome smiled too. "Looks like you caught Izayoi's eye." Inuyasha said to Rin. Rin looked up, Why do you say that? she asked. "Because of the way she spoke to you, she likes your respect, and sees you have had a hard life." Inuyasha said.

I haven't had that bad of a life. Rin said and smiled. Kagome shook her head, "A worse life than us." She said. Rin didn't do anything.

The doors opened and in stepped Izayoi, and twins...wait twins? No, one looked older then the other, the younger one was magnificient. He had amber eyes like his father, with long silver hair, instead of white, like his father and half-brother. He had a crescent moon on his forehead and two stripes on either cheek. His father had no moon but one stripe on each cheek and white hair. They wore nice clothes.

Rin immediately stood for respect while Inuyasha and Kagome still sat. Kagome got up slowly as she saw Rin doing it too. The two men noted this carefully. "Inutaisho and Sesshomaru, dears, this is Kagome, Inuyasha's girlfriend." She pointed to Kagome who lifted a hand quickly saying a small, "Hi."

"And this is Rin." Izayoi said pointing to Rin. The two men looked at her and she bowed in respect. "Rin, Kagome, this is Inutaisho, my husband..."she pointed to the older man and he said a short "Hello there" and a big smile. "And this is Sesshomaru, my step-son." Sesshomaru had a cold look on his face. "Hn." he looked at Kagome and then Rin.

Kagome spoke, "Its very nice to meet you two, sirs." Inuyasha smiled. They looked at Rin. She signed quickly Its very nice to be in both of your presences, Inutaisho-sama and Sesshomaru-sama.

"Nice to meet you both too." Inutaisho said smiling, he immediately started to ask Kagome questions. Rin stood off to the side. Sesshomaru looked at the mute one. 'She is very respectful.' he noted. He took a step closer and another and found himself beside her. "You are Rin?" he asked in his hard, but sexah, voice. She nodded slowly and smiled at him, I hear you do not live here, Sesshomaru-sama. she said. "No, I live on the other side of Tokyo, near our business building, Inside-out co." he looked down at the girl. She looked away immediately blushing. He had to smirk. Which was still unlike him, smirk or not. He replaced the smirk with his stoic face again.

Inutaisho looked at the blushing girl and saw the smirk on Sesshomaru's face. 'He's smirking...weird' he thought to himself. "Dinner is ready, sir." said a little green toad. A toad? WTF? Rin looked at it and smiled. It reminded her of the stories her mother used to tell her...

At the dinner table, Inutaisho sat at the head, Izayoi sat on the right. Sesshomaru sat on the left side, with Rin beside him. Inuyasha let Kagome sit beside Izayoi while he sat beside Rin. Rin looked at all of the food jammed on her plate, it was alot, I mean Alot!

She didn't where to start. She watched as Kagome ate at everything, as well as everyone else. She didn't feel very hungry. She picked up her chopsticks and ate a little rice, while the rest of the table, besides Sesshomaru, conversated. "So Rin, Inuyasha says you are Kagome's foster sister?" Inutaisho asked her. Yes, sir she said. "So where are your parents?" he asked. Rin looked up in surprise at the question. They are dead, sir she looked into his eyes. "I'm sorry to...hear that, how?" he asked. Izayoi dropped her fork and glared at Inutaisho. They were killed. Rin frowned at his questions. "By car? Or accident." he kept going. Izayoi had her jaw dropped. No, by person Rin signaled quickly. "How do you know that?" Inutaisho asked. Izayoi hit him on the arm. "That is enough! Rin I am so sorry, it is none of his business..." Izayoi looked at Rin, who was still frowning and looking at her dinner plate. Izayoi looked at the plate. It didn't even looked touched, just like Sesshomaru's.

"Shes right, I'm very sorry Rin." Inutaisho said looking at her. Rin raised her head and looked him dead in the eyes. She nodded in acknowledgment. Where is your bathroom? she asked Izayoi. "I'll show you." Rin stood, the small jacket she had on fell down a little revealing her scar. She lifted it again, pushed her hair back behind her ears, and followed Izayoi.

Izayoi opened the door to a big bathroom. "I'll be out here, waiting, so you don't get lost trying to come back." Izayoi smiled. "And Rin...I'm sorry about Inutaisho, he is very much like a child." she looked apologetic. its okay. Rin said entering the bathroom. She stood at the toilet breathing hard. She held back tears, but her stomach gave way and she vomited into the toilet. When she was done she washed off her mouth and the inside and her hands. She popped a tic-tac in her mouth, and exited. Izayoi put her hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay?" she asked. Rin nodded and signed, I just had to use the bathroom. Rin smiled.

But Izayoi had heard her. She watched as the sad girl walked in front of her. 'What if she threw up because of the thought of her dead parents? I am going to kill Inutaisho.' she thought to herself in annoyance. Rin sat down beside Sesshomaru again, but didn't touch her food, in fear she would vomit again. Sesshomaru looked at the girl beside him. He looked at his father, who was laughing with Inuyasha and Kagome.

Soon, it was time to go, and they said their goodbyes. Rin held her hand up to Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru, suprisingly took it and shook it. That rhymed. Rin said to him It was very nice meeting you, Sesshomaru-sama, I hope we meet again. she bowed and followed her sister out to the parking lot. Sesshomaru watched her all the way. He turned to find Inutaisho staring at him. "You like her." he said teasingly, "Don't make me puke father." he stated and walked away...

Rin ran into her room and shut the door from Kagome. Kagome knocked on the door and said, "Come on Rin, Let ME IN!" That rhymed. Rin took out her lavender book and started to write furiously.

Dear Diary,

I had the worst day! The first day of school, everyone made fun of me, but I did make a friend with a girl named Kanna, she knows sign language, but then I went to Inuyasha's tonite. His father asked me about my parents, I didn't tell him how I knew they were killed by a person, I won't ever say their name again! I cried like hell today...but thats okay, I met Inuyasha's mom, and his older half-brother. He was nice,well to me he was, he didn't like Kagome too much though. Or Inuyasha, or Izayoi, or much anything actually. I don't wanna go to school tomorrow, but I have to. i wish I could kill myself, but God would never forgive me...so i have to wait until i die without myself doing it. People saw my scar today and stared. I met Kagome's friends, I like Sango...Miroku is a little pervish, Shippo makes me blush, and well Kanna is Kagura's sister. To think Kanna was the wicked witch of the west's sister. eep O.o N-e-wayz I have to try to sleep tonight.

Luv ya,

Rin

Rin placed the book back under her pillow and and took a different pillow and hugged it tightly. Rin listened as footsteps approached the door. "Rin, dear, open the door honey." her mother said. Rin got up and opened the door and sat back down on the bed. "Whats wrong?" she asked. Nothing, just a bad day and Kagome didn't make it any better. she sighed. "That bad to make you run off without Kagome?" her mother asked. That bad.. Rin frowned. Mrs. Higurashi held Rin in her arms. "It'll all be okay, honey, just wait, Guess what?" her mother asked pushing Rin back to look in her eyes. What? Rin smiled. "I got a date!" her mother said. YAY! Rin got up and pulled her mother up with her, she started to dance around. "Wanna help me pick an outfit?" she asked Rin. yes. Rin said pulling her mother towards her room...

Rin pushed her mother out of the door and waved. Her mother got in the car with the nice looking man. He waved at Rin and smiled. Her mother waved at her too. Rin watched them drive down the road. She turned around and closed the front door locking it. Grandpa was sleeping again so Rin pulled a blanket up to his chin. Rin ran down the stairs to the basement part. She dressed into a dancing outift and started music...

_Homeboy.._

_I came to party, _

_your girl was lookin at me,_

_shes a Handful,_

_and na I'm not taggin her,_

_but you don't want them boys to come over and start askin ya.._

_Whacha wanna do (Shhh...nothin)_

_Whacha tryin to do(Shhh...nothin)_

_Whacha wanna do (nothin)_

_Whacha trying do (nothin)_

Rin moved her body around to the music, and closed her eyes. When the song was finished she turned it to another. And danced most of the night, until Kagome came down. Kagome cut the music off while Rin danced. "What are you doin?" Kagome asked rubbing her eyes. Rin turned around and looked at the sleepy Kagome. Whats it look like? Rin asked her, Kagome smiled, " Practicing for a strip dance." Rin stuck her tongue out. Kagome asked suddenly, "Wanna hear me sing?" she asked. Rin shrugged, Go ahead she signed.

"Okay here goes..." Kagome said:

_Well, _

_I been 'fraid of changin,_

_cuz I've built my like around you,_

_but time makes ya bolder,_

_children get older,_

_and I'm getting older too,_

_I'm getting older too..._

"Whacha think?" Kagome asked. Rin clapped. "Thanks." said Kagome and sat beside Rin. "So what happened...well, yesterday at school?" Kagome asked. People made fun of me again. Rin looked down. "Really, Miroku kept on telling me how sexy you looked in that gym uniform." Kagome winked, "And Shippo, every time Miroku mentioned you, he blushed!" Kagome laughed. Rin smiled and blushed too. "So who do you like more? Miroku or Shippo?" Kagome asked. Hmmmm... Rin signed. Both! she smiled widely as if wanting to laugh. "Your too much, Rin!" Kagome said laughing. "Wanna dance?" Kagome asked.

Only if its to my music! Rin said and jumped up. "Okay, your music." Kagome said and turned on the CD. They danced the until morning, which was bad becuz there was school the next day.

Moony: YAY, I LOVE TO DANCE!

Naru-chan:ZzZzZzZzZzZzZ

Sesshy-kun: ZzZzZzZzZzZzZ

Moony: Wimps...REVIEW PLEASE I LUV U!


	3. Wanting

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Inuyasha...meh.**

Moony: Hi HI! All , Everyone should go to Myanimecards .com ( without the space in front of .com ) It has alot of funny stuff on it,yeah...

Naru-chan: Where are my bugs?

Sesshy-kun: Up your ass, you'd know...

Naru-chan: Up my ass? I'll show you up the ass, let me stick my foot up your ass and see who knows what!

Sesshy-kun: Oh yeah?

Naru-chan: YEAH!

Moony: .:sigh:. I knew I shouldn't have put these two together... T.T alone and hopeless here... Okay I have to say nothing will work on the stupid on this thing so, I will just leave Rin's blank now...but she can't speak though.

**Chapter 3: Wanting...**

Rin woke, to find herself in the basement of her house, Kagome beside her. She lifted herself up and felt her aching muscles. She must have danced forever. She remembered school and instantly got up. Waking Kagome she ran upstairs and ran into her room. Picking up a fresh uniform and gliding into the bathroom, she washed her hair and helped the sleepy, and confused Kagome, was her hair too.

Rin dried her and Kagome's hair and started breakfast, since apparently, her mother wasn't home. Kagome was still confused and laid her head on the kitchen counter. Rin woke Sota and pushed him into the shower so he could be ready for school. Rin pushed her four omelets onto four plates, with some rice cakes. She shot over to where Grandpa was and put the plate under his nose, he woke and took the plate eating furiously. Sota came out of the bathroom all ready and grabbed a plate.

Rin shook Kagome awake and pushed the plate at her. Rin opened the door, Inuyasha was about to knock on and stuck the fourth plate in his hands. "Wow, your good." Inuyasha said starting to eat. "Wow, this is better than Kagome's." Inuyasha said with his eyes closed. Kagome eyes turned to fire and she pulled his hair, making him fall into the ground. "Oww, sorry I even said anything..." he said.

Time to go. Rin signed to Kagome. "Time to go Inuyasha, sorry honey." She had petting his head. His ears twitched, the dog ones. Kagome giggled. Rin followed along again watching Kagome in Inuyasha's arms. She looked down and thought, 'What if I never get to experience love?' She looked up and they were at the school. 'Another day of torture.' she thought heading in.

"Rin!" Kanna whispered loudly at Rin. Rin turned around and smiled as her friend walked up to her. "Are you okay? Yesterday you looked upset, and after what my sister said, i felt so horrible..." she said in a whisper. Its okay, I'm used to it. she signed to Kanna. "Okay..." she said. "To math we go!" she said and walked with Rin to math.

Once again stares met Rin as she walked in and took a seat behind Kohaku. Kohaku turned around immediately as he saw Rin. Rin looked at him with a confused expression and took out her math book, and starting the assignment on the board. The math teacher looked at her suspiciously. Rin tried to focus on her work, but with everyone looking at her it was pretty hard. Has that ever happened to you? Everyone seems against you.

Rin finally finished her work and started to draw. She sketched eyes, that were filled with mystery. 'Sorta looks like Inuyasha's brother's eyes, Sesshomaru.' Rin thought. She smiled and named them, Brother's worries. She didn't that the teacher hovered over her paper. He quickly snatched the paper. " And who is this?" he asked, pursing his lips.

Rin sighed. She shrugged, tired of this stupid teacher already. "I bet you know who this is...you just can't tell me bcuz you are mute..." he said putting his hand on her shoulder. She froze as he lifted her sleeve. "So its true, the rumors?" he asked as he saw the dominating scar, down her arm. Rin pulled her sleeve down and smacked him...hard. She ran out of the door to the office. In the office, an office person asked her, "Is there something we can help you with?"

Yes, my teacher, put his hands on me in a way I felt very offensive. she signed. "Who?" Mr. Sake. Rin answered. "Why?" He wanted to see a scar... Rin said. The office personnel stopped and looked at her with strange looks. "Can we see it?" they asked. No. she said, Why would you want to? Its embarrasing. she looked at them frowning. "Sorry, we will talk to Mr. Sake and tell him not to touch you again, you can go back to class now." the lead secretary said. Is it alright if I stay here, even if I sit in ISS, I just don't feel comfortable in that class right now. "ISS is on the right." said the secretary. Rin sighed wearily and looked out of the window. Everyone could see who was in ISS! What if Kagome saw her? Rin wanted to groan out loud.

She sat there and to her luck, Kagome came right out of the classroom across from the ISS window. 'Shit.' Rin thought to herself in misery.

Kagome said to Inuyasha, "Lets see what losers got ISS today."

"Yeah." Inuyasha said, but stopped when he looked at Rin. "And I guess your sister is one of those losers." Kagome looked at Rin and her jaw dropped. What the hell are you doing in there? asked Kagome in sign language. I'll tell you later. she said as the annoying boy tapped her shoulder again. Rin hit him on the shoulder. "Sorry..." he said, turning around. Rin sighed again. Once the bell rang, she got up and ran out of the office.

Kanna met up with her, she was smiling. "That was so cool, you just slapped him and left!" she said. What did everyone else do? Rin asked. "Laughed their asses off!" she smiled. Rin sighed in relief. Have you ever kept sighing, bcuz the day was sucking that bad? Rin did.

They headed to the lunch room and Kanna ordered herself a pizza as Rin got a water. They sat at a table by theirselves. Rin and Kanna carried on a conversation learning more about each other. "Why are you hanging out with such a loser?" asked a snotty voice from behind. Rin turned around to see Kagura, Kanna's sister. Rin turned around and looked at Kanna. "I least I don't hang out with whores..." she said in barely a whisper. "I heard that you little bitch, wait until we get home..." she said scowling at her sister with her red eyes.

"Hey, mute girl, I heard you slapped a teacher for trying to see you arm." Kagura's friend, Yura said. She sat looking at the table. "He was probably trying to fuck her..." Kagura whispered loud enough for Rin to hear, "Just like the man did when he put that scar on her arm probably." she laughed along with Yura and Tsubaki, her other friend. Rin cringed at that comment. "Oh is it true?" Kagura said in a babyish voice. Rin looked at her with a glare. "ooh Scary Rin, whacha gonna do, slap me?" Rin got up ready to punch Kagura right in her perfect little nose. But a hand caught her arm. She turned around to see a man with red eyes and an evil smirk on his face. Rin froze to the spot.

"Now, you wouldn't want to end up in ISS again now would you little Rin?" asked the man, his long hair moving with his head, that was moving side to side. Rin's eyes were wide with cascading fears of who this man was...so familiar inside her head he was, she felt the need to scream. Yet she knew she couldn't.

Inuyasha walked into the cafeteria to see a man holding Rin's arm. Rin was looking mighty pale at the moment. 'Damn, what is it this time?' he thought to himself. He walked up to the crowd that had formed around them and pushed his way to the edge. Rin looked like a ghost this close. Her skin pale and her eyes sunken in from lack of sleep and food. Her eyes were fearful as she looked in the man's red ones.

"Come with me, girl, I shall take you to the office, you seem a little disturbed. "A little?" Kagura said, while the whole crowd giggled and laughed. Rin looked around at the crowd with tears in her eyes. As the man grabbed her scarred arm, her face bunched up into pain. 'It hurts...' she thought as she held that arm.

As Naraku passed Inuyasha, he smiled wickedly at him. Inuyasha looked at Rin's arm and noticed that the scar was a reddish color now. Her face was looking as if she hurt. Inuyasha grabbed the man's shoulder. The man turned around, "Tell your father Naraku said hi." he said so Inuyasha could hear him.

Naraku? Wasn't that the guy who..."SHIT!" he said aloud. Some people glanced at him. "Whaddya lookin at?" he said as he stormed off.

Naraku didn't take her to the office though, but to his car. "I'm surprised you don't scream Rin, don't you remember me?" he said opening the passenger door and throwing her in.

He got in on the other side. Rin looked at him. "I finally found you, Rin." he said as he started the car. "So, where have you been hiding?" he asked her. Rin's mouth was closed and she looked out of the window. It was him. The scar, her parents. Him. Tears formed in her eyes. "Don't hate me Rin..." he said as he drove along the highway. "Don't you speak?" he asked while looking over at her. Rin shook her head and touched her throat.

"Are you mute?" he asked. Rin nodded her head 'Yes.' He nodded too. "Rin...You understand that I will not let you go. You are mine remember?" Naraku pushed her sleeve up and she winced. "It hurts that bad, bcuz inside you have been wanting me to come back, so is th fate of a human who falls in love with a hanyou or youkai." he smirked. "Its been bad, huh?" he asked. Rin nodded somehow not feeling scared that he was there. Why? Why was she scared of him when he wasn't there?

Rin opened her mouth to speak and remembered she couldn't. She looked over at Naraku and smiled. He looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "Why do you smile at me? I killed your parents." he said to her. Rin continued to smile, it was the only thing she could do to contain herself from attacking him. Naraku, speeding, drove down the highway, coming into the western side of the city.

"I remember that day like it was yesterday, you couldn't do anything, you were 13.And so pretty and innocent. But that innocence is gone...but I can say that the prettiness has increased." he licked his lips and looked back at the road. He sat his hand on her thigh. Rin had enough she jumped onto the wheel and jerked it to the side. Naraku wasn't expecting so he pushed the gas harder.

People on the sidewalk starting screaming. Someone ran into Sesshomaru who was angrily looking at the car, that was on the bridge, and wasn't stopping. It went backwards and crashed out of the side barely stopping in time to suspend itself on its front wheels. It was crashed up pretty bad, and the driver looked to be knocked out, but the passenger was trying to to do something. Some people were talking on their cell phone and some were screaming for someone to help them. Sesshomaru took a step forwards. The car budged a little and the passenger froze.

Rin was screaming inside her head. She looked at her seat belt that was squished in between the back seats. Naraku was unconscious beside her. Rin felt the car move a little and she looked back. A drop to water. 'Oh, God, help me.' she prayed in her head.

"Is someone gonna help her?" asked a woman from behind Sesshomaru. The car moved again and Rin froze, trying not to breathe hard. Naraku jerked up. "What the hell were you thinking, you Bitch!" he yelled at her when he found the situation they were in. The woman from behind Sesshomaru shook her head, "Poor woman." she mumurmed. Rin shook her head quickly as if to tell him not to yell. Naraku slapped her across her face. Rin held her newly bleeding cheek and tears sprang from her eyes like rain.

The car screeched and started to fall. Rin ripped at her seat belt, and opened her door. Jumping out and latching onto the road she watched as Naraku screamed at her and fell with the car into the water. Rin looked up and felt her hands burning on the road. She tried to scream, fire on her hands from the car on the road. She pulled herself up a little for a split second to see Sesshomaru. "Sesshomaru..." she whispered. "Sesshomaru." She said this time. Her throat started to bleed. "Sesshomaru." she said.

Sesshomaru, with his demon powers heard her. 'Thats that girl who came over for dinner.' he thought to himself. He stood where he was. Rin dropped back down, one hand coming loose, her fingers loosing grip on her other hand, which was burning. "SESSHOMARU!" She screamed as loud as she could as blood started to flow out of her mouth. Sesshomaru started to walk and then run, and then with his demon powers run. He stepped into the fire and reached down, right when Rin let go. She looked up at him tears flowing down her ashed up face. "Sesshomaru..." she whispered and passed out. Sesshomaru pulled her up and picked her up bridal style. Now where was that ambulance?


	4. Then you begin

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.**

Moony: Wow its been a long time since I've wrote for this story...My summer was SHIT! I moved like 4 different houses and started school really early...and then once I got good friends who love the stuff I do, I had to move AGAIN, and then once I got here my mother almosts DIES and then the baby she was gonna have DIED T.T I AM SAAAAAD! AND I AM FRIGGIN' OUT HERE! Also when I was living in FL I got hit by Katrina...brrrr...scary...Now I am in NC confused and alone and listening to Korn sing 'MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB!' Please bare with me...it'll get better...

Naru-chan: Poor Moony, I will take care of you! - 

Sesshy-kun: Here Moony we can share my boa thing. (Even I don't know what it is...:sigh:.)

Naru-chun: pffft...

Moony: ohhhhh...frown...here goes...

------------------------------

**Chapter 4: Then you begin...**

Rin woke to bright light. And to a beeping noise. Her body ached all over, and her hands felt burnt. She looked around the room and spotted ladies in white dresses bustling around. Her throat was burning and itchy, but she tried to push herself up. Sitting up all the way she looked over. 'Where am I?' she thought to herself. 'What is it?' she asked herself. 'Who am I?' she thought looking at her hands and she remembered it all.

Flashes of memory quickly played through her head. Naraku. Car. Fire. Water. Fire. Pain. Screaming. Sesshomaru.

Sesshomaru.

Speaking.

Screaming.

Rin opened her closed eyes, and opened her mouth. "Sesshomaru." she said, her voice alien to her ears. A nurse looked over at her and walked over. "You are Rin Misaki, no?" asked the nurse. She nodded."Good, I will inform all of the people outside waiting to come in and see you that you are awake." the nurse said carelessly and walked out of the door.

Rin scrunched up her eyebrows in pain and looked at her scar. It wasn't red anymore. 'I can speak. Thanks to Sesshomaru...I can speak, and I am alive.' She remembered his hand catching hers. His face. 'I must thank him .'

As the nurse walked out, all of Rin's waiting party stood up which was: Rin's mom, grandpa, Sota, Kagome, Inuyasha, Izayoi, Kanna, and Sesshomaru. "Rin is awake now, she seems to be fine." the nurse said to them. Mrs. Higurashi was crying. She ran into the room.

Rin watched as her mother ran into the room. "Oh Rin!" she said hugging her foster child to death. Rin didn't feel like moving her arms, they were in pain, and had IVs sticking all in them. Kagome was crying, "I'm sorry Rin I should've payed attention! I should've asked you what the problem was!" she said hugging her. Sota came, "I'm glad you're okay Rin." he said scratching his head. Grandpa looked at her and smiled. Inuyasha came up to her and hugged her, "I'm sorry kiddo, I should've payed attention. " he said letting her go. "Here dear, I brought you some flowers." said a smiling Izayoi. She set them on the table beside Rin.

Sesshomaru sat in corner. He watched as all of Rin's friends hugged her and made sure she was okay. He felt sort of jealous inside, but would never tell anyone what happened to him...

Rin fell back onto the pillow, feeling tired. Izayoi touched her forehead and said, "Maybe we should let her sleep, now."

"Yah, we should, she looks pale." Kagome agreed. Mrs. Higurashi kissed Rin on her head and followed Inuyasha and Izayoi and Kagome out. Kanna whispered to Rin, "I hope you get better, I am truly sorry for what my sister says." and followed out. Sesshomaru pushed himself the wall and was ready to leave. Rin touched his hand. "Thank you..." she whispered, bowing her head. He looked at her and sat at the chair beside her bed.

"Who was he?" he asked her. Her throat hurt, but she managed to get out, "Naraku Tama." Sesshomaru nodded and said, " Why were you with him?" he asked. "He took me from school..." she said and her breath was getting shallower by the second. Sesshomaru sat there, would he leave her to sleep or keep asking questions?

The silence in the room made Rin nervous. She touched her burning throat and frowned. 'I don't want to talk, he is already asking me questions.' she thought to herself. Rin looked at Sesshomaru and smiled. "Why did you save Rin?" she asked him. He was silent and his faced showed a confused look. Rin started to giggle, he was cute like that. He looked at her and blinked. She started to cough. She smiled again and touched her throat once again. "You should stop talking, it hurts you." he said looking at her like she was weirdo. "Why do you care?" she asked. He sat there. 'Damnit, how does this girl do that?' he asked himself. Her smile only got bigger.

Sesshomaru's eyebrow twitched and Rin giggled again. Sesshomaru stood up and said, "Go to sleep." and exited the room, looking annoyed. Inuyasha looked at his older half-brother coming out of Rin's room. "Women...confusing me...damnit..." he growled under his breath and walked down the hall towards the exit. Inuyasha watched his brother and went into Rin's room.

"I have to hear how you did it." Inuyasha said to Rin. She looked up and looked at him confused. "Piss off Sesshomaru." Rin smiled mischeviously. "You seem really happy." She shrugged. Inuyasha smiled. "Really, I am sorry for not being there, and Kagome keeps blaming herself for it, I hope you'll make her feel better by telling her its okay." he said. Wait, back up. Make _her _feel better. 'Wasn't I the one abducted, almost killed, burned to friggin death, and my throat feeling like its gonna burst!' She thought to herself. Rin smiled it off and looked at Inuyasha. 'Fucker.' she thought. 'BAD Rin! BAD! No being mean!' she almost started to laugh.

"Whats so funny?" he asked. Rin shook her head and smirked. Inuyasha shook his head too. "I know what Sesshomaru means now." he said and headed out of the door. Rin sat back up. 'I dun wanna just sit here...' she thought, and took a look at her IVs. She ripped them out wincing and set one foot on the floor. She put the other one down and got up, still holding onto the bed for support. She took a step forwards and felt pain shoot up both of her legs. 'Shit' she thought as she fell on her butt. She pulled herself back up and took a step again. This time it didn't hurt as much, but her ankle did and she looked down. It was broken. She frowned and felt her broken ribs, too.

She started to walk again and walked out of the room. Looking at her mother and other people talking and not looking at her, she snuck down the hall. Giggling in triumph she started to walk again. Rin observed everything in the hospital and her smile dropped. This reminded her of when her parents...

Flashback

_"Get the girl out of here..." a doctor said. "No! Let me see my mommy! I want my Dad!" screamed a girl with tears in her eyes. "Doctor, look at this girl's arm! She is bleeding to death! And her legs have blood on them..." the woman looked at her with so much pity, Rin backed away and tried to get around her. "Let me see my parents!" she screamed as demanding as her 12 year old voice could do. _

_"Come, on girl, we have to help you, the doctor will do all he can to help your parents." the nurse cooed. Rin felt everything in slow motion as they dragged her away from her parents..._

End Flashback

Rin leaned against the wall. She held her breath for a second. 'I really want to keep my talking a secret...I hope Sesshomaru won't snitch on me...if he did I would die in fear that someone might ask me questions.' she thought. 'Yes, I'll ask Sesshomaru not to tell them...' she thought. She got in the elevator and pressed the 12th floor button. She needed space.

Stepping out of the elevator she traveled through the hall glancing in each room at the patients doing different activities. The hall was ending soon and Rin's legs were burning, but sort of numb. She saw the stairs to the roof of the hospital. She winced as she lifted each leg to the top door. She pushed the heavy, gray door open and stepped out onto windy rooftop. Sun shined in her eyes and she sat down at the edge of the roof.

_FlashbacknesZ!_

_"Rin do you remember what happened?" asked a soothing voice, but Rin shook her head 'no'. _

_"Nothing at all?" the police man asked in annoyance now._

_Rin shook her head again. She didn't want to, not what happened to her, what happened to her parents. "You don't remember how you got that scar and lost your v-"_

_End FlashbacknesZ!_

Rin's labored breathing put pressure on her newly broken ribs and she almost cried out. Her hands were numb, and she was afraid to look under the bandages. Maybe this was what she deserved, being the dirty person she was. She would never tell anyone, not a soul ever.

Tears ran down her cheeks and her breathing quickened.

"Rin..." Rin jumped at the sound of someone's voice. She turned around to see Sesshomaru standing there. With his icy cold look and ruthless attitude. Rin squinted her eyes in hatred at him and tried to get up. He watched her struggle for a moment before setting his hand out in front of her face. She looked at it in disgust, and then her breathing started to quicken again as tears welled up in her eyes again, she did her best to hold it in. She took his hand and when she looked back into his eyes the tears burst and she bent her head down into her hands.

Her legs gave way and she got ready for the pain of her hitting the cement, but strong arms caught her frail body. She looked into Sesshomaru's face and let her tears be seen. And then she hid her face in his shirt. For a long time she sat there crying.

"Please don't tell anyone Rin can...speak." she whispered. "Hn." Sesshomaru answered, pushing her up onto her feet. Rin tried to walk but faltered into Sesshomaru's arms again. Sesshomaru frowned in displeasure but gathered her fragile body into his arms, bridal style. Rin squinted her eyes in sudden pain and grabbed a handful of Sesshomaru's shirt into her fist.

"Relax..." he said, starting to walk slowly towards the stairs. Going down each level he tried to calm her with words humans used to relax others. Gradually Rin let her fist lighten a bit on his shirt and her eyes were soft on her eyes.

When Sesshomaru came into Mrs. Higurashi's sight, she broke down into tears all over again. "Why do you do that Rin?" Mrs. Higurashi asked tears slipping down her red cheeks. Sesshomaru put her down on her bed again, but she entangled her fingers into Sesshomaru's shirt again. "Let go Rin..." he said. She immediately let her fingers fall onto the bed.

Sesshomaru turned on his heel and stalked out of the room. Rin gripped the covers and Mrs. Higurashi grabbed her hand. "Its okay hunny. Momma is here..."

88888888888

Moony: Yep thats the best I can do for now...I'm so glad to have the internet again


	5. Damaged

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN INUYASHA OR ANY OF THE SONGSS!**

**Chapter 5: Damaged...**

Moony: Oh yeah...whoever asked what ISS was, its In School Suspension...I am very close with ISS!

Naraku: FEH!

Sesshomaru: Shut the hell up.

Naraku: FEHHHH!

Moony:YAY FEHHHH!

Sesshomaru: -- oh god, I am surrounded by idiots!

Moony: FE- SAY IT SESSHOMARU!

Sesshomaru: Damn...Feh.

MOONY: LIKE I DOOOO!

Sesshomaru: FEHHHHH!

MOony: das' betta, Thanx for reveiwing peoples!

Moony:**_ RIN'S SIGN LANGUAGE IS IN ITALICS NOW_**

Dear Diary of the Insanely Disturbed,

Its been awhile since I've written in you...So much has happened. Naraku...took me from my school and tried to...make me his pet...again. I almost died, had it not been for Sesshomaru-sama saving me. I burnt my hands, and my ankle is broken, and my ribs. They are much better now that I have been tooken home. I still haven't told anyone that I can speak...(yes I did speak), but I don't want anyone to know...they will question me. I don't want that. Scars formed over my hands...sorta distorting them. Kagome refuses to let me do anything alone anymore...its very annoying, yet I am glad that she is so worried for my safety. I haven't seen Sesshomaru-sama since that day at the hospital. I find myself thinking about him alot, its probably because he saved me, but I fear there might be more. I don't what to think anymore. I went back to school last week. Everyone ignores me mostly, and alot of people are telling me they are sorry for what happened. I hear people say things about me. I admit I am damaged and that I will never forget that haunting face of Naraku. I see him in my nightmares. Something deep inside of me fears that anyday now he will just appear and try to kill me. My mother is really getting serious with this guy, I found out he is my art teacher for 2nd semester. Inuyasha and Kagome spend more and more time together. I am glad that they are happy. Kanna hangs out with me all the time, and shetalks to me only and laughs with me. Her sister still makes fun of me...but I don't really care. I don't hate her.

love,

Rin

Rin put her own lock around the lavender book and set it under her pillow. Putting the key around her neck and getting up from her bed, she grabbed her crutches and went down the stairs as best as she could. When she arrived in the kitchen, her art teacher and her mother were cooking dinner together. Rin smiled...at least her mother was happy. Her mother looked up and smiled too. "Hey Rin hunny." she said and turned over a piece of chicken. Rin signed to them ' _Hello mom, Kimishima-sensei...how are you?_'

"I'm okay Rin-chan, did you have a comfortable nap?" Her art teacher asked aloud. Rin nodded and smiled, turning away and traveling to the back door. She slid out and shivered. It has just rained and the sun was covered by clouds of more rain. It was evening and the wet wood under her feet felt strangely cold. It indeed was cold for this time of year, and Rin hated it...an early winter.

She leaned against the railing of the deck she was on. Looking down made her twitch, it was so far up. Like when she was in the car above the ocean. As soon as she thought of it she blotted it out her mind.

Rin pushed hersellf back and up and traveled down the porch stairs. Stepping on mud, she cringed in disgust. 'Ewww, that felt nasty.' she thought and started to walk to the edge of the forest behind her house. Sitting on a stump, she began to meditate on her surroundings. It was nice to hear everything the forest was saying.

She didn't even notice the foot steps approaching. "Hey Rin..." Rin fell off the stump and almost screamed. She looked at Inuyasha in anger, who was laughing. Rin flicked him off. "Sorry...I didn't mean to scare you, Kagome wants you." he said and helped her up the stairs.

When inside Kagome greeted her with a hug. "Hey Rin...I was wondering if you'd like to come with me and Inuyasha to his place...Izayoi said she was wanting to see you...if you don't want to, thats okay." She said smiling.

Rin sighed. She looked at Inuyasha and then back at Kagome. Rin nodded smiling. "Thats a yes?" asked Kagome. Rin nodded again. Kagome smiled too. "Good...but they are having a party so you should find that pretty ball dress that your real mother gave you!" Kagome pulled Inuyasha upstairs. "Its tomorrow!" she yelled from upstairs. Rin shook her head. She went into the kitchen to see her mom smooching with her art teacher and she immediately turned around shivering...'Creepy.'

Rin crutched herself back into her room, and headed to the closet. She opened a small compartment in the back of it and grabbed out a box. Taking the top off the box, and removing some thin paper, she took out a dark blue sapphire dress. It twirled out at the bottom, a slit running from the top of her right leg, with a golden belt circling her hips. It was long sleeved, but it stopped just below her shoulders, and it dipped a little to reveal cleavage. Rin held it in front of her and looked in her mirror. Her brown eyes sparkling she thought with suddeness, 'I hope Sesshomaru is there.'

Rin paused what she was doing. 'There I go thinking about him again.' She set the beautiful dress to the side and picked up the shoes from the box. They were diamond studded, and it strapped up to the middle of her calf...the heel was 2 inches long. They were dark blue also. Next she pulled out a diamond choker, with matching earrings. She smiled at the remembrance of her mothers face. Setting all of the outfit back into the box neatly, Rin set the box on the floor beside her bed. Turning off the light beside her bed and laying down, she stared into the darkness.

'Will people ever accept me?' she thought as she drifted into sleep.

**dream state**

_Rin walked through a corridor, long, dark, and damp. Her every step echoed perpetually through the halls. Doors that she passed were numbered 1002...1001...1000...and so on. None of the doors intrigued Rin enough to open. She wore a black dress, a veil over her head that trailed behind her. Fog hovered at the floor, and she walked down the corridor as if it were an aisle to her wedding. The door at the end of the hall appeared._

_It was red and the number was 66- (A/N: another six). Rin cautiously opened the door with ease, and stepped inside. She looked up and-_

**end dream state**

Rin awoke sweating. Her feet felt sore, as if she had walked for miles on end. She pushed off the covers in a rush and stepped up. No pain? Rin felt around her ankle. 'Holy Shit! This is freakin' me out!' She felt her ribs, they felt fine. She looked at her hands. They were blemish free. She sat there astounded.

She glanced at the clock. 5:00 am. She had slept through the whole night? She walked out of her room, and traveled downstairs. Opening the fridge, she saw her dinner from last night and grabbed it out. Placing it in the microwave and turning it on, she sat down at the counter. She couldn't remember what she dreamed about. But it was important, that at least, she knew.

The microwave brought her out of her revelry, making her jump. While she ate, she wondered what kind of people would be at Inuyasha's parent's party.

After finishing her "breakfast" she wrote a note to her family that she would be home later. Today she could finally be alone.

The sun was out today and a slight breeze made her smile. The leaves had started changing colors. Her house was not far from a small store she liked to visit. As she entered, an old lady looked up and said, "Konnichiwa, Rin-chan 'tis a fine day for ye to visit."

Rin signed to her, "_Yes Lady Kaede, I am glad that I can finally visit you without Kagome monitoring me."_ Lady Kaede laughed at that and replied, "aye, dear, ye seem happy today, are ye meeting someone special?" Rin signed "_I hope so...I am going to a party and I am looking forward to talking to someone."_

"Oh yes? What did ye plan to do with that rat's nest?" Lady Kaede asked, gesturing at Rin's hair. Rin smiled, _"Well I was hoping you would give me the honor of wearing one of your many designs."_ Kaede threw her hands above her head, "Of course, did ye think I would let ye get away from mine shop without it?"

She scurried Rin into a chair, and began to pin it and braid it and twist it furiously. When she finished, Rin looked at her hair. The top was pinned up with many braids twisting across it, while the bottom half spiked out with a couple of braids hanging down. " Ye wear it well." Kaede said and pushed Rin out of her shop while telling her to come back later.

Rin traveled down to a little coffee shop. "Hello Rin-chan, nice to see you, the usual?" asked a woman with light hair. Rin nodded at the girl. 'Kagome is gonna freak out if I don't get home soon...its already 10:00.' she thought, once she got her coffee, giving the girl a good tip. Sipping the warm liquid, she closed her eyes to savor her moments of peace. 'Heaven...' she thought and set the empty cup down. She opened her eyes and found an angry Inuyasha in front of her. She barely did it, but a wimper escaped her throat and Inuyasha's eyes lightened. "Was that you?" Rin looked at him with a strange look. "Of course not...," he shook his head, "What the hell do you think you are doing?" he asked angrily.

Rin signed back at him, _"I am drinking coffee."_ Inuyasha said, "Very funny...do you know how bad Kagome is friggin' out?" Rin raised an eyebrow, _"I could guess."_ she moved her hands without flaw. " Well damn Rin, we get scared something happened to you."

_"You can't expect to protect me forever." _Rin signed calmly. "You are still too young to be walking around alone, especially since Naraku had alot of connections." Inuyasha stood up, placing his hands on his hips. "Come on, we gotta go." he said. Rin sighed, but followed. Inuyasha tried to talk to her but she glared at him and walked ahead. "Geez Rin, don't be like that." he said in annoyance.

Rin kept walking until she saw the shrine. Kagome was waiting outside by the ancient tree. "Rin!" Kagome yelled and ran up. "Your so stupid! Why didn't you get us up? We were so worried!" Kagome shouted at her.

Rin looked at her and signed, _"Maybe I wanted to be alone for once! You don't think I can take care of myself?"_

"You didn't when Naraku abducted you!" Kagome yelled without thinking.

Tears brimmed in Rin's eyes. She turned around swiftly and ran into the house. Her mother watched her run past, and then stomp up the stairs. "She was walking without crutches..." her mother said to herself. Rin slammed her door shut and locked it.

'What am I, a useless person with no feelings?'

'Am I just someone people can rag on?'

'Was I meant to just keep my mouth shut and let everyone eat on my flesh?'

'What did I do so wrong?'

Tears spilt down Rin's face and she buried her head in her pillow. ' I am Rin...hear me roar.'

Rin cried herself to sleep, feeling so tired all of the sudden. She slept until she felt a light tapping on her shoulder. "Rin, dear, next time don't lock your door and fall asleep. Inuyasha had to force the door open. Are you still going to that party?" Her mother spoke softly.

Rin nodded and pushed her covers back. She ushered her mother out of the room and looked in the mirror. Good. Her hair was still perfect.

She picked the box up and took out all of the outfit. Slipping off her dirty clothes, she pulled the dress along her body, slipped on the shoes, and put on all the accessories. She took a deep breath and looked in the mirror. Her reflection was gorgeous. The slit showed off her sleek, long legs, while her pale shoulders looked regal. The dress highlighted her eyes and the dress fit beautifully around her hourglass figure. The diamonds made her eyes sparkle, while the shoes made her a bit taller. The only thing wrong was her scar/tattoo.

Rin put on dark eyeliner, that made her eyes look sort of like an egyptian, and a light ligloss that accentuated her full lips.

Stepping downstairs, she opened the door to the kitchen and saw Grandpa, Souta, Inuyasha, Kagome, her mother, and Kimishima-sensei gasp. "Oh Rin, you look to die for." Her mother said in awe. Kimishima-sensei laughed and said, "You better not wear that to school, dress code!"

Rin smiled, until she looked at Kagome. Kagome was grinning uncertainly. Rin looked at the clock and nodded to the door. "Yeah, we should get going, the party starts at 6:30 and its already 6." Inuyasha said and grabbed Kagome's hand. Rin followed behind like always. "have a good time!" Mrs. Higurashi waved as they pulled out the drive way.

Inuyasha turned on the radio.

_"...Guess I crossed the line,_

_Guess I crossed the line-hine,_

_All the things she said,_

_All the things she said,_

_Runnin' through my runnin' through my head..."_

Rin felt a sudden urge to sing, but she put that idea out of her head immediately. They would find out that she could talk. Rin looked out of the window and watched the newly coloring trees fly by. The sun was behind the trees, flitting in and out of sight. Kagome had her window cracked, letting a breeze fill the car.

Rin felt total serenity. She felt like she could just drive and drive and drive and feel like her whole life was perfect. The car came to a stop and Rin opened her eyes. They were here already? Inuyasha opened Kagomes door and helped her out. Rin opened her own door and stepped gracefully out of the car.

Walking behind Kagome and Inuyasha, she looked at the parking spaces filled up with all different kinds of cars and limos. Rin shivered. 'So many people here, maybe I shouldn't have come.' She thought as she got nervous.

Inuyasha looked back at her, "S'okay Rin, they are all nice...I guess." he laughed. Rin stuck her tongue out at him. Kagome's green dressed glittered in the sun as she walked, Rin thought that she might compliment her on it. Inuyasha was dressed in a suit.

As they entered, Rin saw so many different faces she lost Inuyasha and Kagome. She wondered through the crowd looking for a familiar face. She saw Izayoi greeting her guests, a beautiful pink dress flowing around her. Rin walked quickly towards her, 'Izayoi is nice...and she wanted to see me.' Izayoi turned her head and saw Rin walking to her.

"Rin-chan." Izayoi said with a soft smile on her lips. Rin smiled too. Izayoi hugged Rin tightly and said, "I am so glad you came...I was wanting to see how you were, you look wonderful!" She twisted Rin around.

"Where is Kagome and Inuyasha?" Izayoi asked.

Rin signed,_ "I lost them."_

"Oh, its just like Inuyasha to forget about other people when hes with Kagome. I think they are going to grow up and get married." Izayoi smiled at the look on Rin's face.

"I'll be back in a second dear." Izayoi said and left Rin to do what she would. Rin traveled over the food table, and looked at all the neat sandwiches, and glasses filled with wine. She turned away from the table and walked through the crowd. 'Yep, definetly should've stayed home.' she thought as people bumped into her.

Most of the "people" there were youkai. Rin knew. Piano played in unison with a harp in the background and a woman used her voice to help. Such beautiful music...

"Hey Rin!" waved an excited Sango. She had a red and black dress on, with a gold chain adorning her neck. Rin smiled at the Sango she had been getting to know lately. _"Hi"_ Rin signed at her and they embraced. "I'm a little nervous about being here, I've never been to something so formal..." Sango looked around, her brown eyes shimmering. "Kohaku wouldn't come, he says he wouldn't fit in."

_"He's right.''_ Rin replied and Sango said, "Maybe...he'd be too shy to do anything anyways."

"Ladies!"

"Oh great, Inuyasha must've invited him..." Sango whispered to Rin putting a hand over her eyes in frustration. "Miroku, you'd better not try anything on us or I swear after the party-" she motioned her hand across her throat. "Oh dear, Sango I wouldn't do that, not here, I just wanted to ask you for a sweet dance!" he said dashingly.

Sango looked in his eyes for a moment, then sighed. "One dance Miroku, and if you try anything-"

"I promise I won't." he said taking her hand and leading her to the dance floor. Rin watched them with longing. 'Is there someone for me...that would actually _want _to dance with me?' she thought in her head. Idly, she watched people start to dance. She spotted Kagome and Inuyasha, Miroku and Sango, Shippo and Kilala, Kouga and Ayame, Izayoi and Inutaisho. Sighing again she sat in a vacant chair.

'Is this what is meant for me? Observing other people indulge in their fortune?' she asked herself with a pang of disconsolation and ire. The song ended and on played the next, a mix with a harp, a xylephone(sp?),a piano, and drums. It was beautiful... it was slow..."Dance?" asked a deep voice, breaking Rin from her revelry. She looked up to see a picturesque Sesshomaru holding out a taloned hand to her. Rin smiled adoringly at him and took his hand.

Guiding her to the dance floor, he twirled her into his arms. She looked up at him and he looked down at her. "How is...school?" he asked quietly, while leading. "It's...fine." she whispered so that only he could hear her. "I see your wounds are improved, you healed fast." he said. "Uh-huh..." she said in her hushed tones. "You look...chic." he said as he twirled her. "You're looking sharp yourself, Sesshomaru-sama..." she replied quietly.

"Do you not have friends?" Sesshomaru put emphasis on friends. "What's the point, they all backstab you anyways..." Rin spoke softly. "Very well put." he said his face as cold as ever. Yet Rin couldn't take her eyes off of it. His eyes gazing into hers...she was lost. Lost and he was there to find her...He was the only thing there.

"But they...love...you." he said, no expression on his face at all. "Yes...but do they because they want to...or because I'm here and they have to?" her voice was deadly low. "Depends on how you feel about them..." he spoke dipping her and picking her back up slowly. "I...I...don't know...anymore." her voice softened and she laid her head against Sesshomaru's shoulder, holding on tightly to him. His hand was on the small of her back and he rested his chin on the top of her head. Tears threatened to show themselves. The song played out for them, it felt like a wonderful eternity for Rin.

The end slowed and Sesshomaru dipped Rin one last time. Finally a music piece not worth dancing to. Sesshomaru and Rin sat down at a table with candles lit and a cute assortment of fine china and goblets, as did all of the other couples. Inutaisho walked up to the microphone and the music stopped. "Are meals are now ready, so what do you say we eat, and then I get down to business?" Inutaisho announcedly questioned. Everyone agreed with a hurrah! and the servants came bustling out with plates of meats and rice of all sorts.

Sesshomaru and Rin let them fill their plates and goblets, before they started to talk. "How is work progressing in your company?" Rin whispered leaning over the table. Sesshomaru leaned in too. "Profitable." he replied. Rin took a sip from the goblet and closed her eyes to savor the flavor. That rhymed. "Aren't you underage?" Sesshomaru asked in amusement. "They gave it to me." she spoke delicately so no one around heard her speaking. He smirked a derisive grin and took a sip of his wine also.

"This is luscious..." Rin said taking another swig. Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow. "I didn't think you would be a heavy drinker." he said. "Usually I wouldn't be, its just, at this point, What the hell?" Rin said her voice calm. "What is your favorite color?" Sesshomaru asked. "What?Why?" Rin asked. "Its supposed to tell you about the person...whats your favorite color?"

"Dark blue." she rejoindered.

"White." Sesshomaru said. "So what am I supposed to be like?" Rin asked a smile on her lips. "Secretive."

"What about you?"

"Empty."

"I thought it would mean pure or something..." Rin riposted.

"Thats pink...white means empty, black means full of emotion, opposites." he said, "Your turn, entertain me." he said.

"What would you do with time if you could manage it? Fasten it to die, slow it down to live, go back in time to change, go forward in time to rule?" Rin asked.

He was silent for a moment, deep in thought and said, "I would leave it alone, and achieve what I want by myself."

"I've never thought of that before, I go back in time..."

"How very naive." Sesshomaru took a sip of his draught and watched Rin for a reaction. She smiled as if wanting to laugh, "How very perceptable." Rin replied staring into his eyes. He stared right back. "Hn."

And at this point Rin and Sesshomaru reached an undeniable understanding of each other. They knew what it felt like, how it was to keep secrets, even if in smalltalk.

"Rin!" hands grabbed her from behind and Rin jumped. A look of annoyance appeared on her face as she looked at Inuyasha. "We wondered where you went. Kagome says she'd like to talk to you."

Rin signed, _"Tell her to come over here if she wants to talk..." _Inuyasha looked at her...he sniffed. "Have you been drinking?" he asked and looked behind her at her wine goblet and a placid as ever Sesshomaru. "What are you doing with _him_?" he asked.

"We were just talking, dear brother, she is not yours so do not treat her so." Sesshomaru said cooly to his irritating brother.

Inuyasha scowled at him and turned back to Rin. "Is he bothering you?" Inuyasha inquired. _"No, we are talking and enjoying a conversation..." _Rin signed. Inuyasha raised his eyebrows and said, "I'll go get Kagome."

Rin watched as the waiters took their still full plates away and set in front of them a cup of icecream. Rin picked up her spoon. "I can never resist icecream..." she said with a wispy smile set in her features. Sesshomaru rejected the icecream and had the waiter refill his and Rin's glasses.

Rin took a big bite and waited a couple of seconds before she squinted her eyes and hit her forehead with her palm. "Brainfreeze..." she whispered. Sesshomaru was amused yet again. Rin took a sip of her refreshed wine and smiled in relief.

"Rin..." Kagome said as she walked up. Kagome glanced at Sesshomaru, "Can we talk in private?" Rin looked at her foster sisters concerned eyes. _"I'll be back..." _she directed it to Sesshomaru.

Rin walked beside Kagome as they traveled to a secluded area. "I'm sorry about what I said earlier about you know..." Kagome said. _"Its okay...i was being stupid like you said, but sometimes I'd like to go out with you and Inuyasha hounding me." _

"Maybe you could go to Kaede's and the coffee shop and maybe even the dance studio alone every now and then."

Rin smiled, _"That sounds cool.."_

Kagome grinned evilly, "Whats going on with you and Sesshomaru? I saw you dancing with him, and mouthing stuff to him."

Rin grinned eviller. _"Just kidding, he just...is...nice to talk to."_

Kagome giggled, "The Ice Prince?" Rin nodded smiling. She hugged Kagome and started to walk back to the table, but Sesshomaru was gone. Rin sat down disappointed, she waited for a while but he didn't show. Inutaisho had started talking about how his business was doing well, and what their plans were and if they would like to donate for it. Rin downed her 5th cup of wine and made a simper.

Everything Inutaisho said was funnier and funnier to Rin and she had to contain herself from laughter. She was trying so hard that she was shivering. Inutaisho toasted and Rin 'fehed'. Inuyasha came over and looked at Rin. "Rin? You okay?"

_"I sam fina, you arg sooo grate Inyourwasha!" _**(translation at bottom)**

Rin stifled a laugh and 'fehed' again...

888888888888

Naraku: I want a dance scene with you Moony .:evil grin:. kukukukukuku

Moony: Oh really, .:eviler grin:. let me get my handcuffs...BWAAHAHAHa

Sesshy: Am I coming?

Moony: Of course.:evilest grin:. I have a whip too...BWAHAHAHAHAHa

Sesshy & Naraku: O.o woot?

MOony: .:Phsycotic grin:.

Translation: "I am fine, you are so great Inuyasha!"


	6. Secretly, you'd love to know what's like

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, so go 'head girl go 'head get down (git, git down)!**

**Reviewers ROCK AS ALWAYS...ME HAW HAW!**

Moony: I wish I had a scanner...then I could put me fanart on fanartcentral .net or myotaku .com...I can draw pretty good...yah.

Naru-chan: Yah I saw your drawings, the ones of me...** : ) kukukukukuku!**

Sesshy-kun: I saw all of the drawings she has of me too, she loved me first...

Naru-chan: Yah, but she loves me _now _kukukukuku

Moony: Settle down boys, I am here for you both...kukukukukuku, Hn.

Sesshy & Naru : Kukukukuku! Heheheheheh! Stop that! That was weird...oh we did it again, that was weird too...A wap babuloola A wap bam boo!

Moony: Bwahahahahahah!

_**Rin's SIGN LANGUAGE IS IN ITALICS!**_

-----------------------888888888------------------------

**Chapter 6: Secretly...you'd love to know what its like...**

Rin woke with a pounding headache, and a major hangover. When she tried to sit up she fell right back down onto the pillow. She still had her dress on from last night, but her hair was sprawled out around her head. She blinked in the blinding sun and looked around.

She finally pushed herself up and sat there. 'This isn't my house.' she thought in alarm and pushed the heavy covers out of the way. Setting her feet on the floor, she almost fell over. 'Something was in that Sake...' she thought.

Rin opened the huge door to the bedroom she had been in and proceeded into the hallway. She recognized the hallway. This was Inuyasha's house. She swiftly went down the stairs, looking for anyone familiar.

'I take that back...' she thought as she saw Inutaisho wondering the halls. "Oi Rin, are you better now? Or do you need a Tylenol or something?"

Rin was stiff. _"I'm fine Inutaisho-sama, thank you for asking, why am I here still?" _

"Well you sort of were a little drunk, and Inuyasha had downed some wine too, so he decided to stay here last night." Inutaisho explained.

_"Oh, Inutaisho-sama you must think me so revolting!" _Rin looked at her feet. She heard Inutaisho chuckle. "Oh no, Rin-chan, you deserve to let yourself indulge in the many pleasures of life, especially Sake! Sorry, its my favorite..." he smiled at her.

_"I'll keep that in mind for the holidays..." _ Rin smiled at him too.

"Well, breakfast is almost ready, why don't you join us...Sesshomaru is there." Inutaisho said.

_"Really?...I mean, of course I'll join you, I would be delighted..." _ Rin grinned nervously. Inutaisho chuckled again and motioned her to follow him. "I'm sure Izayoi has something you can change into. That dress must be so uncomfortable"

Rin followed Inutaisho until they met up with Izayoi. "Hello Rin-chan, how are you dear?" she smiled sweetly. _"I am fine Izayoi-san, how are you?" _Rin asked.

"Just fine, lets go upstairs and see if I can't find something you can fit." Izayoi beckoned. "We are being joined by a couple of Inutaisho's business partners, so I'll get you something really nice." Izayoi smiled with glee as she pulled open a highly detailed door, which held a boundless amount of beautiful clothes in it. Izayoi scanned the clothes and picked out a lavendar kimono with a darker purple embroidered flowers flowing along the side. The sash was the same two colors and the sandals were a light brown.

"This will match your youthful skin delightfully!" Izayoi said. "I feel like a mother again! You know Inuyasha and Sesshomaru are too...prideful to let me do things like this..." Rin was happy that Izayoi thought of her in such a way. Rin bowed. _"Thank you Izayoi-san, I feel like a giddy child, waiting for her mother to be impressed!"_

Izayoi's eyes shined with tears. "You are truly an aesthetic person Rin, I hope you know that." Izayoi said embracing her. Rin felt a pang of sadness sweep over her. Izayoi was just like her real mother.

"Here...before I start to cry, put this on." Izayoi put the delicate cloth in Rin's arms and floated out of the room. Rin sighed and slipped on the clothes with grace, so that she didn't damage them. Rin looked in the mirror.

Her pale complexion, was paler than normal, but her long hair was curly today, and it circled around her shoulders. The kimono brought out her brown eyes and shiny hair. It accentuated her curves and put a sort of artistic appearance to her.

She slipped the sandals on and walked out to find Izayoi waiting anxiously. Her eyes softened at the sight of Rin. "That looks perfect."

_"Is Kagome wearing anything like this?"_ Rin asked.

"She is...wearing something from her backpack, she brought along." Izayoi answered.

_"oh." _

"Come, we don't want to be late..." Izayoi walked down the stairs and followed into the dining room. Rin trailing behind, looking at everything clean. How did it get clean so fast? Servants?

Rin walked in behind Izayoi to see everyone seated, even the guests. Rins face flushed a pinkish color and she took a vacant seat beside Sesshomaru. Izayoi sat beside Inutaisho. Inutaisho's business partners looked at Rin. "Aren't you that girl who was on that bridge?" asked the younger one. He was a pretty handsome dude, with brown hair and blue eyes. Rin faltered with her chopsticks and paused.

Kagome looked at her and was about to say something, when Rin put her hand up at her. She nodded her head "yes" to the man and his eyes widened. "Wasn't it...how should I put it?...frightening?" he asked.

She nodded again and put her chopsticks beside her plate. "It was lucky Mr. Takeshi was there." he said. Rin stole a glance at Sesshomaru, who was observing her every move with a curiousness. She smiled at the man and he smiled back. "I'd love to do a story on it." he said. Rin shook her head immediately, almost frantically.

Sesshomaru observed this too. "Theres not much to tell, accident, bridge, hospital, healed." Sesshomaru supplied for her. She looked at him thankfully. "hm." the man shrugged and got back down to business with the men. Sesshomaru got up and walked out of the room. Rin bowed her head at Izayoi and followed him.

"Wait." she said as she caught up to Sesshomaru.

"What?" he asked, no emotions at all.

"Thank you, for back there." Rin walked beside him, "but I'd like to know where you went last night!" she said angrily. "You just left without even saying goodbye." she jumped in front of him. He stopped before he ran into her. "I want an answer."

He leaned forwards, his nose almost touching hers. He scowled at her, and she slipped back and he inched further. She backed into the hall wall. That rhymed.

He was still inches from her nose and he said lightly, but with his "voice". He smirked, "Its really none of your concern." he turned and walked away.

Rin let out the breath of air she had been holding in. "Hes going to kill me one of these days..." she said to herself.

kukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukuku

_"Dreary." _Rin signed to Kagome as she examined the front yard of her house. _"All the tree's leaves are gone...it looks...dreary." _

"Well, I guess we'll have to make it look better!" Kagome said happily. "With...Halloween decorations!"

_"Halloween decorations? Kagome...don't you hate Halloween?"_

"Not anymore, I get to dress up Inuyasha anyway I want!" Kagome grinned evilly. Rin smiled, _"What are you going to make him be?" _Rin asked.

"A kitty."

_"haha...that'll annoy him so much!" _

"I know, teehee!" Kagome giggled. "I'm going to be a pop star! What are you going to be?"

_"Dunno, haven't thought of that yet...maybe a maiden, or a vampire..."_

"Oh so you're going to be the scary one of the group..."

_"No, I thought that you were, I mean even with no mask, you're scary!" _Rin smiled like she was going to laugh. Kagome looked at her evilly, "Scary huh? I'll show you scary!" Kagome jumped at Rin, who dodged and ran around.

They ran around until their lungs refused them to run around anymore. Kagome was laughing and Rin was panting. "That was fun, we haven't done things like that in a while...will all the fighting and me being with Inuyasha all the time...I've been really selfish..." Kagome watched the leaves fall. "Can I tell you a secret?" Rin looked at Kagome. She nodded.

"I think Inuyasha hasn't gotten over his ex Kikyou..."Kagome said in a morose voice. "He...is...always worried about her and whenever she calls, he goes to her. Maybe she is...better for him." Rin wimpered in her throat without thinking. Kagome sprang up. "Was that a dog?"

Rin screamed in her head, in relief. Rin shrugged. Rin touched Kagome's hand. She shook her head and signed, _"Kagome, you are his...mate...in a matter of speaking, you two would be nothing without each other! He just needs time to forget that he is still in love with Kikyou." _

"Rin...you are really smart you know that?" Kagome hugged her. "Don't forget, you can always talk to me too." Kagome let go and pushed Rin's bangs away from her eyes. "Even secrets...i can keep them..." She looked at Rin hopefully. _"I love you Kagome and I trust you, but...I just can't say anything right now..." _Rin pushed herself up and walked into her house, taking off her thick jacket, and scarf.

She walked upstairs quietly and closed the door to her bedroom behind her. She opened her diary and wrote:

Dear Diary of the Insanely Disturbed,

Its me again, and I must tell you of a couple events since my last entry...I went to that party I was talking about, and I danced with Sesshomaru-sama. It was wonderful. I also got very drunk, and Sesshomaru disappeared and I slept over at Inuyasha's. Mother yelled at me when I got home, she said it was "unlady like" to get drunk. She said she would've expected better than that from me. Kagome didn't get drunk though...sometimes shes too perky.Or maybe I am just evil. Kagome told me she thought Inuyasha was still in love with Kikyou, a girl who goes to our school, who Inuyasha fell madly in love with a long time ago. They broke each others hearts, and its weird that they would still love each other. I just don't understand, but I don't fear that misunderstanding...its just life. And I do not hate it.

luv ya,

Rin

Rin closed her diary and placed it back in its special place. She lay down and stared at the ceiling. She wished she could hum, or sing, but silence is a blessing one would say. Have you ever felt like that?

She closed her eyes, and drifted to an unconciousness.

kukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukuku

Rin's eyes fluttered open at the sound of the alarm clock. She reached out and turned it off, jumping up and grabbing some clothes. School again today.

Her mother and grandfather was already downstairs. Why?

_"What is everybody doing up already?" _Rin asked with a weird look on her face.

"Rin...Kagome is gone." Her mothers eyes searched Rin's. Rin stared at her in confusion and shook her head.

_"Did you check with Inuyasha?" _Her mother nodded. _"Izayoi? Lady Kaede, her friends?" _

"Yes Rin, everybody she knows...we can't find her, and they haven't seen her, she left this note."

_Dear family,_

_Don't worry about me you guys, I just need a long break. Maybe I'm just not good enough..._

_-Kagome_

Rin let her tears fall on the note and ran out of the door with no shoes and no jacket into the 40 degree weather. She had to find Kagome...

Moony: CLIFFY!

Sesshy: cliffy? -o

Naru-chan: Yes if you had not been sleeping you would've known that.

Sesshy: Oh...--zzzzzzzz

naru-chan: feh

Moony: ** : #** fuh you Sesshomaru!

Naru-chan: kukukukukukukukukuku


	7. Do my tears of mourning sink beneath

**Disclaimer: Time goes by...so slowly. AND I STILL DON'T OWN INUYASHA! WHEN WILL YOU PEOPLE LEARN THAT EVEN THOUGH I AM GREAT, I DID NOT CREATE IT, SO DON'T ASK ME FOR AN AUTOGRAPH...muhhahhahahhaha.**

Moony: Hey hey this is cool.

naru-chan: Moony?

Moony: What?

Naru-chan: what do you think about sex?

Moony: Why?

Naru-chun: Dark Yugi said it was good for FRIENDSHIP!

Moony: Dark Yugi, huh? I might hafta chat with him...

Naru-chan: you wanna pratice friiiiiieeeeennnndddsssssshiiiiiipppp?

Sesshy: -- with Sesshomaru-sama Lord of the Western Lands?

Naru: SCOWL, I AM SCOWLING YOU RIGHT NOW!

Sesshy: : ) meh meh meh.

Moony: Buy guys, I'm going to see Dark Yugi (walks out, leaving Sesshy and Naru behind)

Naru: (looks at Sesshomaru) wanna practice frrrrrriiiieeeennnndddddsssshhhiiiiippppp?

_**Rins SIGN LANGUAGE IS IN ITALICS!**_

**Chapter 7: Do my tears of mourning...sink beneath the sun?**

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Rin ran into Inuyasha'a mansion without knocking. She ran into Izayoi. _"Izayoi-dono, have you seen Inuyasha?" _Rin asked quickly with her hands. "Hes been out in the town looking for Kagome, I suppose thats why you are here too?" Rin nodded panting. _"Thank you Izayoi-dono, bye!" _Rin turned and blazed out of the door...

Rin's feet were going numb, and the nightshirt she had been wearing was very short and revealing her skin to the cold. Snow began to fall. Her legs were going numb as she looked for both Inuyasha and Kagome. She finally saw Inuyasha and such a rage built inside her, she didn't care that Inuyasha didn't know she could speak. So she did.

Inuyasha turned to a finger tapped on his shoulder to see if it was Kagome but- SMACK! "BASTARD!" another stinging slap arrived on his other cheek "Worthless HANYOU HALF-BREED!" A voice musical said with such ferocity Inuyasha winced at every word.

"STUPID PATHETIC JERK! VILE INCONSIDERATE FUCKER! Another slap to his already red face, bringing tears to his eyes, a bruise already forming on each cheek from the intensity of the slap. Inuyasha stared at Rin. Did she just...scream at him?

She pushed him. Tears flowed down her cheeks. "Kikyou will never love you as much as Kagome will, so why don't you just let it go? Why do you make kagome suffer? DAMMIT WHY?" Rin smacked him again, her own hand going numb.

"Rin..." Inuyasha started. "Either you give Kikyou up, or get out of Kagome's life! because if you think for 1 second I would let her be in pain anymore than she is, you are the stupidest person in the whole bum-fucked world!"

"Rin... you know...what it feels like...Why would you ask me to forget?" Inuyasha asked. Rin moaned.

"Inuyasha, she is my sister, what do you think? K-kagome...she loves you even more than she does me. And you know its true, because I can't tell her, I can't..." Rin stopped, her nose and cheeks red. Tears running down her face, she gasped for air. "Rin, why didn't you tell anyone you could speak?" Inuyasha asked, inching closer. "Thats not important...I hav- have to find K-kagome..." Rin turned on her heel and starting running.

'Damnit Kagome, whats wrong with you? Why do you continually act so stupid?' she asked herself. 'Am I the only one whos sane?'

'Just insanely disturbed.'

Rin wiped her eyes, and continued running her aching legs. Her body was numb now.

FLASHBACKNESZ!

_"Rin, get up! The parents will be here any second...don'ty ou want a family Rin?" the little girl turned her lifeless eyes toward the owner of the orpahnage. She shook her head no, tears brimming her eyes unconciously. "Oh, Rin...just come down okay?" the lady said and walked down the stairs._

_Rin sat motionless on the bed. Her arm hurt, where her wound was healing. A scar and a tattoo that was permanent had been put on her arm. She remembered her mother's light hair color, and her father's big brown eyes. The tears fell down her numb face and she sat up. 'I want my mother.' she thought. _

_Tears still falling, she ran down the stairs to find the orphanage lady. When she got downstairs, strange faces were everywhere. Rin turned around in circles and bumped into an older girl. The raven haired girl turned around and looked at Rin smiling. _

_"What's wrong?" she asked. Rin opened her mouth to speak, but refrained. She touched her throat. The girl looked at her for a second, but then smiled. "You can't speak? Are you an orphan?" _

_Rin's tears were already drying. She nodded up and down. The raven haired girl smiled and said, "Spin around for me." _

_Rin obliged and spun around slowly. Kagome glanced at her arm. "Whats this?" she pointed. Rin put her hand gingerly on her forming scar. Tears welled up again. The raven haired girl gasped and said quickly, "Never mind, don't cry!" she hugged Rin._

_Rin started to cry though, hugging the girl too. When the girl let go of Rin she said, "I'm Kagome!" Rin smiled and stuck her hand out. Kagome shook it. "Would you like to be my sister?" Kagome asked. _

_Rin was stunned. A wide smile took place of her frown and she nodded vigorously. "Lets ask my mom then!"_

END FLASHBACKNESZ!

Rin had her hands on her knees, bent over. She was panting. One last place to check. Rin's own hiding place!

When Rin arrived in her hiding place, sure enough, Kagome sat there, tears running down her face.

"Idiot." Kagome jerked her face up at the unfamiliar voice, and let her jaw drop as she saw that it was Rin. "Rin, did you just _call _me an idiot?"

"You're damned right, you scared the hell out of everyone of us! Especially me." Rin plopped down beside Kagome, and let her head fall on Kagome's shoulder. "How long have you been talking?" Kagome asked wiping her tears off her face. "Doesn't matter." Rin said. "How long have you been crying?"

"Every since I met Inuyasha. Jerk!" she yelled at nothing. "He loves you...you know?" Rin said. "What?" Kagome asked. "He needs time though Kagome, Kikyo was the only person who accepted him, besides his mother and father. Its hard to get over your first love." Rin said. "I know, I know, but you don't know how much I love him." Kagome said. "Shhh, you obviously don't know how to observe. Silence is a weapon. I observe so many people in silence. You love him Kagome, more than anyone you know." Kagome let her head fall on Rin's.

Kagome sat silently. "I just thought...that I was a nuisance...that you didn't need me." Rin watched the snow fall quicker than before.

"I wanna tell you Kagome...if you promise **_never_** to tell anyone else...ever." Rin said. "Tell me what?"Kagome asked lifting her head. "What I am scared of, why I don't wanna talk, why I have this scar...I trust you Kagome...you were the first person I ever trusted. The one that didn't make me feel so insanely disturbed...so I'll tell you..." Rin said grabbing Kagome's hand. "My favorite sister."

"You're only sister."

"Still...hehe..."

Rin smiled and began to tell her sister just what happened...

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Kagome dialed in the number and waited patiently. Rin's head was in her lap, her cheeks were flushed and her face felt hot. The cold weather was wearing on her, and they were being snowed in. Already in October. "Hello?" answered a voice.

"Sesshomaru? I didn't know you were still at Inuyasha's house."

"Business never sleeps...Inuyasha is not here, he is looking for you."

"Oh...Rin found me." at the name of the girl, Sesshomaru's eyebrow twitch. That gorgeous body in that dress...

He shook his head.

"Do you think you could come get us?" Kagome asked feebly. "We are sorta being snowed on... Rin is getting sick, she came looking for me in a night shirt."

"Where are you?"

"In the ruins." Kagome said. "I will be there, but this is a one time thing. Aftert this, don't be so ignorant like that half-breed." Sesshomaru replied and closed his cell phone...

...Sesshomaru arrived 20 minutes later, to see Kagome worried looking at a jacketless Rin. Sesshomaru got out of his car. He walked up to them. Rin's eyes were closed. He felt her face. "She's sick...get in the car." he ordered and picked Rin up gingerly. Her legs were so sleek, so soft in his arms. Her breathing was labored. Her cheeks red.

Sesshomaru placed her in the front seat of the car and drove back to Inuyasha's. Inuyasha was sitting outside on his steps when he saw Sesshomaru's car. He looked to see Rin in the front seat and Kagome in the back. Sesshomaru parked the car and walked around to the passenger side. Kagome stepped out of the car and looked at Inuyasha.

She almost burst out laughing. He had a black eye, and a few bruises on his face. Inuyasha saw the smile on her face and ran to her. He hugged her tightly. "You scared me so bad...don't ever do that again Kagome..."

Sesshomaru kicked the front door open and carried Rin upstairs to the guest room with the fire place. He turned on a hot bath and put a wet rag on Rin's face. She opened her eye's and looked at him. "Sesshomaru..." she smiled weakly.

He looked at her and pulled her night shirt up a bit, and then all the way. Rin fell unconcious again. He took off her bra, to reveal to perfect breast. Then he pulled off her panties. He set her in the hot bath. Taking a rag and rubbing her bady gently, he tried to warm her up. Leaving her there for a second he turned a fire on and got out blankets and warm clothes for Rin.

Rin's eyes were opened again. "i'm stupid, I should've put on some better clothes."

"You were worried." Sesshomaru said as he began to rub her again. "You are not uncomfortable with me doing this are you?" he asked.

"No." she said almost too quickly, making her face turn even redder. He liked that.

"I feel so lightheaded..." she said looking at him. "You have such a handsome face..." Rin said slowly bringing up her hand to touch it. Sesshomaru looked into her eyes...and she his. He didn't know what to say. Rin moved towards him a bit and...

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Moony: THIS IS THE SHORTEST CHAPTER I'VE EVER WRITTEN! but I have writers block...sickness that is going around, very contagious... I'm disappointed with this chapter...it sux balls...i mean it sux. I promise, once my block passes I'll be up and runnin' ( i have 3 stories going at once here!)

Naru-chan: Crazy I was crazy once, so they put me in a yellow rubber box, so I died there and they buried me, where the worms are and they tickled my toes and drove me craaaazzzzyyyy.

Sesshy: we can tell.

Moony: LOOK EVERYONE I AM GOING IN SLOW MOTIONNNNNNN...

Naru-chan: ME TOOOOO...

Moony: WEEEEEEEE...

Naru-chan: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

Moony: HEEE HEEEE, NOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sesshy: youuuuuu guuuuyyyss quuuiii- heeeeyyyy waaaaaiiiitttt IIIII ddddooonn'ttt waaaannntt toooo beee innnn slllooowww mmmoooottttioooonnnn!

Moony: I SOUND LIKEEE BARRRRYYYY WHIIIITEEEESSS, WHHHHIIIITTTTEEEE CCCOOOOUUUSSSSIIIINNN, AHHHEEEEEEE HEEEEEE...


	8. REVIEWERS LOOK!

**This Update is for all the reviewers! I love you guys! Stay with meh! I'm trying!**

**KumiAkitsuri548548: First reviewer for story, you got me going!**

**Youkiyra Solar: Always a joy!**

**SessObsessed: I have nothing to say about you...JUST KIDDING...LUVS YA!**

**imagine-me: I will imagine you...REviewing more!**

**jerseygrl246: Jersey!**

**Jade Desliva: Love your name!**

**Lovegoddess567: ThankuThankuThanku!**

**Sesshy-chansbestpal: Grrrr... I wanted to be Sesshy-chansbestpal...Thnkz tho!**

**HippopanacakeIamfrigginout: You llama.**

**moonlitStarDestiny: (BWAhahahahahah I am thanking myself)**

**newfu:Yah! Lets follow that trail. (what trail?) The trail that we blaze! .:cuts up bushes to find rock in the way...points sword somewhere else:. THAT trail that we blaze!**

**AngelxOfxNight: I update at the pace my brain worx...slow...but pleeze keep reviewing!**

**ladyrinremix: REMIXXXX! I love your story too!**

**I.The Silence: I adore your penname! Its so cute! Updates? here ya go.**

**Angels Heart 1622:Thank you! you rox!**

**SesshouYashia: Super Kawaii! Tanky tanky!**

**icygirl2: Why thank you, I believe so too!**

**Cheekyamericangrl211:WOOT!**

**Jingleby: - meh meh meh, I like cliffys.**

**deadlyrose: Thank you for pointing this out to me, I'll remember next time!**

**InuMekoGurl: Work is so hard...oww (looks at papercut) damn!**

**Wolf-Inu-Yasha38:I continue forth!**

**Starrilight-Hotaru: You're so fuggin' funnay! It just makes me happy to see a review from funny people, of course I love all reviews, but from funny people most.**

**SilentKiller: I know someone on Quizilla with the same username...thank you!**

**crystlefang : ZUp? I am sooooo hyper...sorry for not coming to skool. Stay in school, drugs are cool! I mean no! Cuz you see kids drugs are bad, if you don't believe me ask ya dad, and if you don't believe him ask ya mom, tell ya how she does um all the time, so kids say no to drugs...drabble drabble...WHERE AM I? WHO ARE YOU? oh hi Bloody! No I need my head. Sorry.

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**You are the people that make me wake up in the morning! - No...really. Please stay with meh! I've been havin a hard time...so I LOVE YOU! **

**Sesshy-(me silently threatening to break neck) I LOVE YOU ALL!**

**Naru-chan-(dancing on top of Rafiki from Lion King, with staff and baboon suit on) Asanta Sana, Squash Banana! KUKUKUKUKU I LOVE REVIEWERS!

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**lovelovelovelovelovelovelove,**

**moonlitStarDestiny**


	9. kisses and surprises

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha...but I might own the owner...BWAHAHAHA...(hears sound of gun) I mean NO! Rumiko owns me too!**

Moony: Wow! I thought people were gonna bash me for doing such a sucky chapter, but it turns out people loved it! I love you people too!

Naru-chan: I'm Henry the 8th I am, 8th i am I am i am, I got married to the widow next door, shes been married 7 times before and every one was a henry, A HENRY! I'm Henry the 8th I am I am!

Sesshy: hn, I think you've lost it.

Naru-chan: (in background singing song over and over)

Moony: Hey Sesshy-kun...you wanna go get some icecream?

Sesshy: as long as I get away from him. (we leave)

Naru-chan: Sing it with me now! I-m Henry the 8th I am...

**Chapter 8: KUSO!**

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Rin leaned forward...and placed a soft kiss on his cheek _ There I go again, I'm such a coward!_ Rin thought to herself angrily. Sesshomaru sat there, her lips still pressing against his pale skin. He moved his head a little and brushed her lips with his. He sat back and stared intently in her eyes. 'BWAh? did he just kiss _me_?' Rin thought a blush rushing over her face. Rin leaned forward and caught his lips. 'Oh gawd, is this actually happening?' she thought.

And then, just when they were starting to get into this...KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! "Is Rin okay Sesshomaru?" a worried Kagome asked outside of the door. Sesshomaru pulled his lips away, both of the kissers panting for breath. Sesshomaru regained himself before answering. "She is fine..."

"Good, is she warming up?"

"Oh yes." Sesshomaru said.

"Good, could you bring her out? I want to give her some soup and some medicine!"

"Hn." he said, his eyebrow twitching in annoyance. Rin had a dazed expression on her face. Sesshomaru put the towel and clothes on the side of the tub. "Get dressed..." he said and started to turn, pausing. He stared into her eyes. "We'll have to finish this conversation later." With that, he turned and passed Kagome, glaring at her.

'KUSO!' Rin thought glaring at Kagome too. Except her glare was even more of death glare than Sesshomaru's. "What? Are you okay?" Kagome asked glancing in.

Rin rolled her eyes and grabbed up the towel beside the tub. Draining the water, she dried herself off and placed on some comfortable pants and a t-shirt. 'Geez, Kagome, you DUMBASS!' Rin thought and blushed furiously at the thought of what could've happened.

Rin came out of the bathroom, her hair wet, but brushed back, her big brown eyes fully showing. Kagome hugged her. "Okay okay, I know your sorry Kagome..." Rin said pushing her away. "You are always forgiven." 'Except when you interrupt me when I'm trying to tap that...URGH! What is my problem?' Rin raised an eyebrow and walked out of the room.

She walked down the stairs caustiously. Inuyasha was standing there talking to Izayoi, Mrs. Higurashi, Mr. Kimishima, Inutaisho, and Sesshomaru. Rin's face burned. 'I'm gonna kill Kagome.'

Inutaisho turned his head at the sound of some patting feet on the floor. Rin stood there, looking distressed. "Oh...hi." she said softly and Inutaisho, Izayoi, Mrs. Higurashi, and Mr. Kimishima's mouth dropped. "Rin...you just...spoke to us! You spoke!" Mrs. Higurashi rushed to her and hugged her in excitement. Izayoi smiled and Inutaisho chuckled. Sesshomaru admired her decision to speak, it was a big step to take.

"Oi, Rin-chan...Thanks." Inuyasha said and hugged her tightly. Sesshomaru's mouth twitched. "I-i um, am sorry if we worried you..." Rin said. Kagome appeared at the bottom of the stairs. Glares were shot her way. Kagome knew that this time it was _completely _her fault. "I'm sorry too." Kagome said.

Inutaisho smiled widely, "How about you all stay for dinner!" he announced. Mrs. Higurashi smiled warmly. "That sounds like a great idea!"

So it was set that they were to stay for dinner and enjoy it together. Well, the food had to cook first so everyone went their seperate ways. Izayoi and Mrs. Higurashi went off talking about motherly things. Inutaisho was being questioned by Kimishima-sensei. Inuyasha and Kagome went off to talk. So that left...Rin and Sesshomaru.

Rin was out of words. It felt so nice to be near him. She looked up at him. He looked down at her...and suddenly... Rin was slammed against the wall, Sesshomaru's lips claiming hers, his leg in between both of hers. His arms had hers pinned above her head. How soft her skin was.

Rin was thankful that God gave her a nose. Otherwise she would've died of suffocation. Sesshomaru's hands traveled down to her waist, his leg pushing up a little. Rin gripped onto Sesshomaru's shirt and loved the sensation she was feeling. It was so different from when...nevermind. She wanted this...she didn't fear it...she wanted it! How good of a feeling was that. To fear most everything in your life and be given a simple pleasure that other people received rarely. Was she blessed or cursed?

"Sesshomaru...why...me...?" Rin asked between kisses.

Suddenly he stopped...he tilted his head to the side. Then...he walked away. Rin sat there dumbfounded. 'What did I do? Was that such a bad question?' she asked in her thoughts.

Sesshy POV

"Hn." he said cooly. 'I should've stopped myself ahead of time.' his stoic expression perpetually stuck on his face. 'Why does she like me so much...wonderous.'

End Sesshy POV

Rin still sat where she had been slammed against the wall. Still pondering if she had said something stupid. 'YES YOU'RE AN IDIOT!' she screamed at herself in her mind. So many thoughts running through her head. Why did he have such an effect on her?

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Dear Diary of The Insanely Disturbed,

Shit! Sesshomaru, me, me ,Sesshomaru! Kagome MEH! Inuyasha MEH! I'm so confused, but there is something, something deep inside of my heart, myself...that is excited! So excited! Today I will be going back to school...I feel like I wanna just burst with confidence...its all because of Sesshomaru...thats sounds weird but it is. Oh, I've lost track of time thinking about Sesshomaru...its time to wake everyone up!

love,

Rin

Rin eagerly placed her sacred diary under her pillow, and placed the key around her neck. She had already taken her shower and put on her uniform. She wacked Kagome on the head, and then ran into Sota's room to do the same. Today...she would speak.

She bounded downstairs bookbag on her shoulder and then started breakfast. "Good morning darling!" Mrs. Higurashi appeared in the doorway in a robe. "Make sure you make some for Kimishima..." her mother said and yawned.

"Yes, mother." she spoke in that wonderful voice of hers. Mrs. Higurashi smiled in delight. "You sound so mature Rin...I'm so proud."

Rin wasn't paying attention though, she was thinking about visiting Izayoi today. Rin was confused. Of course she wouldn't be talking about _that _kinda thing with Sesshomaru's step-mother.

Inuyasha came in the door...with a blue/ black. "What happened?" Rin askedas she softly touched the bruises. "Uh...you did this." he said. Rin couldn't help it. She burst out laughing. Grandpa, who was on the couch, woke up with a start and grabbed up his sutras, throwing them furiously at Inuyasha. "Calm down, old man!" he said as Kagome came down the stairs dragging a sleepy Sota behind her.

"Grandpa!" Kagome grabbed the sutras and muttered, 'Senile...'

Mrs. Higurashi was sipping her coffee. Kimishima was eating his breakfast. Inuyasha pecked Kagome on the lips. "Ready?" Rin asked smiling. Kagome smiled too. "Yep!"

"Lets be off!" Rin said, not noticing the term that Sesshomaru used all the time. Inuyasha scowled suspiciously at her. Kagome and Inuyasha walked ahead of Rin as usual. She watched them holding hands, and laughing about the corniest things. 'Would...that ever...?' she stopped. 'No...only in my dreams.' she sighed wistfully and saw the school come into view.

Miroku, Sango and Shippo met up with them. Sango looked at Rin, "Hello Rin did you have nice break?" Sango said expecting a nod or hand sign.

"It was...interesting, how about yours?" Rin said smiling. Sango was startled. "Rin...you can speak now? Oh how wonderful!"

"Now, you can answer me! Rin, will you bare my children?" he asked. Rin kissed his cheek, but shook her head 'no'. Miroku sighed and nodded. "At least, it wasn't a smack." he said.

Sango loaded Rin with questions. Rin happily answered them. Once she was in school she met up with Kanna. The same thing happened. Kanna had a wispy smile on her lips. "That is...terrific Rin...I'm glad for you." she looked at Rin her lifeless eyes.

"You're my best friend Kanna, don't look so sad!" Rin grabbed her friend in a tight embrace. Kanna froze. "You're my best friend too." she whispered, looking guilty...though Rin couldn't see that.

They walked to first period together and Rin told her (weird damned fuckery teacher) that she could talk. He answered with a smartass remark, in which Rin retorted something smart back and got silent lunch. How ironic.

With her luck, she was sitting right beside Kagura. "Hi there." she said in a voice dripping in god knows what. Rin glared at her. "Hello, Kagura." she said lifting her chin in pride.

"Oooh, look who can speak now!" Kagura giggled with a few friends. "I was wondering why they put _you _in silent lunch...did you start crying in the middle of class?"

"No." Rin said and still stared at Kagura in a glaring way.

"Hmph! Did someone ask you to see your scar?" Kagura cooed and lifted Rin's sleeve revealing the electric blue outlined tattoo. "You know, when a demon takes his mate he leaved a mark just like this! How did that happen?" Kagura asked in a pouty voice.

Rin frowned deeply. Memories flooded into her head and tears found themselves brimming. "Ohh, is Rin gonna cry?"

"Shutup." Rin said softly.

Kagura slammed her fist on the table. "Oh no you didn't!" People started to look at them and someone yelled catfight. Kagura shoved Rin to her feet. Rin stood tears threatening to spill her soft eyes. "Come on youkai whore! Tell me how it happened!" Kagura started a chant among her friends. "Youkai whore! Youkai whore!" they laughed maliciously.

"Be quiet!" Rin raised her voice a bit. Kagura pushed her again. "Stop..." Kagura persisted.

"I said stop." Rin felt a tear release down her pale face. Inuyasha and Co. walked in, but couldn't get to Rin.

"Tell me youkai whore! Did he fuck you senseless?" Kagura laughed in that horrid voice.

"SHUTUP DAMMIT!" Rin said and threw her fist into the wind witch's face. Kagura sat there holding her nose, blood dripping off her fingers. She looked up with a look of hatred. Rin looked at her...what am I doing? she asked herself. I should've been quiet...thats the best...thats it.

Rin turned away and pushed through the crowd. Kagome caught her. She hugged her and tried to soothe her with words. "Don't listen to her Rin, its alright..." Rin shook violently in her sister's arms. "I...I...I..." she hicupped. "You don't have to say anything Rin, okay, just cry okay..." Kagome felt herself close to tears too. Rin had told her _everything _that had happened to her. Her parents...Naraku...everything. To have those memories brought back to the surface was like having a knife stabbed and twisted in your heart.

By the end of the day Rin was smiling again. She didn't want those memories, so she pushed them back. When she walked out of the school though a surprise awaited her. There was a limo and it was surrounded by swooning high school girls. There was..."Sesshomaru?" Rin asked to no one in particular.

Sesshomaru, his long silver hair billowing in the wind, golden eyes sparkling in the sun, was looking among the crowd. He stopped when he laid his eyes on Rin. He blinked and then tilted his head, and motioned for Rin to come to the limo. Rin smiled.

She made her way through the crowd and grabbed Sesshomaru's outstretched hand. It felt so wonderful when she was lifted easily onto the top of the car. "Hi..." she said blushing. "Happy Birthday." he said and sat down in his seat. Rin sat down too. The car started to drive.

"Its...weird...I forgot it was my birthday." Rin laughed. Sesshomaru loved her voice...correction...liked the way her voice said things.(pffft-he loves it) "Sooo, who told you it was my birthday?" Rin asked. "Kagome." he replied looking out of his window. "So where are we going?"

"Somewhere." he said.

"ohh...wait..."Rin said and looked at him. Her big inquisitive eyes shining. "Have you been crying?" Sesshomaru asked, not taking his eyes off the road. "...Can you smell it?" Rin asked, fiddling her hands.

"Hn."

"It was nothing...I just had a little tussle with that bit- I mean girl at school."

"Hn."

"What about you Sesshomaru?" she asked him eagerly. "I'm...fine." he said.

"Hn." she said and giggled. He looked over at her now. She looked so happy. A completely different person than that girl who he had first met. Rin giggled again and grabbed Sesshomaru's hand. "Please tell me where we're going!" she asked.

Sesshomaru felt her soft hands circling his big clawed one. "Somewhere." he said staring in her eyes. "Okay..."Rin said leaning forward a bit. So close...just a little bit more...The car slammed to the left, sending Rin flying into Sesshomaru's lap, mouth on his. Her eyes widened. The car slammed on brakes and they went flying forwards, Sesshomaru on Rin now. Then the car door opened, Miroku stared at the way Sesshomaru and Rin were. Sesshomaru pushed himself up. Rin still lay on her back. "Whoever the driver was you need to punish cruelly." Sesshomaru said stepping out of the car. Miroku was still bug-eyed.

Rin lifted herself. A blush on her face.

"What was that?" Miroku asked and he helped her out. Rin smacked him on the head. Walking into the building she almost had a heart attack when a bunch of people yelled, "Suprise!" at her.

A party...for her. Rin smiled widely. Thats the way it was all night...maybe life was going to be better.

Or maybe life could get worse.

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Moony: Ahhh the power of cheese.

Naru-chan: Come over chere!

Sesshy:...

Naru-chan: Asshole.

Sesshy:...

Moony: Ahhh... the power of weed.

Sesshy: weed.

Naru-chan: A-HAH! you're a durg head! You only responded when she said weed!

Sesshy: weed. --'


	10. Where is the love?

**Disclaimer: yeah yeah, no owny, I don't own any song lyrics in this chapter either...respects to the songwriter and singer...(Beyonce Knowles, "Check up on it")**

Moony: I don't like my story right now...Its like I can't think of anything anymore...just turned 14 tho. This is the first hugemongouslygigantuous ( my word) writers block I've ever had...any suggestions I'll be glad to take them into this small brain and contemplate. Oh yeah. Sesshomaru is OOC in this story as some may have noted, but hey how is someone supposed to fall for someone if they are assholes?

**Chapter 9: Where is the love?**

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Rin stepped out into the cold air and walked down the street quickly. Her brown coat wrapped snugly around her. She pushed the heavy door open and stepped inside the coffee shop smelling the delicious coffee smells. She took off that brown coat and hung it on a rack. She walked behind the counter and pulled on an apron, tieing it securely around her waist.

She stood and surveyed the now busy coffee shop. It was filled with business people at this early part of the morning. She walked to random tables and picked up peoples orders. Rin bobbed her head in the kitchen doing dishes to the soft music that played in the background. She stood in random places as the day wore on. Such was her day now that she had gotten her new job. Her mom was getting married soon, and Kagome and Inuyasha were getting way too serious for her to be around.

She hadn't seen Sesshomaru since her birthday. Which was fine. She knew he just was in a lustful mood when he had kissed her.

Rin sighed. Her health was going down too. She just didn't feel like eating anymore. Its like the very idea of food disgusted her. She watched the sun change positions every few hours and took countless orders and walked out of the coffee shop exhausted. 'Just when I think things are getting better, they go right back to falling.'

Walking back down the road she had come from she sighed for the millioneth time. "What the hell?" she asked herself aloud. "These days are going by too fast...I have no one to spend them with...they are meaningless days." she continued talking to herself feeling her feet were freezing cold in her boots. She walked faster and looked to the ground. 'Why am I always so sad?'

She was so confused...so angry. "Damn." she whispered as she walked farther away from the city. 'Why is every else...so happy?'

She looked up to see the Higurashi shrine coming into view. "Hmmm." she said and stopped. Inuyasha was there. Her lip went up in disgust. "What is wrong with me? I am being so mean...I need to...ask my family if maybe they want to do something?" Rin put on a smile. "Yes, that'll make it better...hopefully."

She turned the corner and walked to her shrine. Opening the door she walked in and yelled her families names. "Hello?" she walked upstairs and listened to hear a radio playing:

_Ooh boy you lookin like you like whacha see, why don't doncha,_

_come over check up on it...Ima let you work up on it..._

Rin tiltled her head to the side and opened Kagome's door. "Hey Kagome I- Shit!" Rin slammed the door closed and ran downstairs in embarassment. Her face was so red she felt the hotness on it. She sat on her couch and reviewed what she had just seen. Inuyasha. Kagome. "Oh gossshhh! I just walked in on them...bleh! I have to go for a walk." Rin jumped up and walked out of the house once again.

"Geez, you'd think they would lock the door if they were gonna do that." she walked quickly down the road. 'I wonder what they are doing now...nevermind...I don't wanna know.' she thought.

The wind was blowing cold on her face and the clouds were darker than they were supposed to be. "I wonder if it will snow." Rin wondered aloud and felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. "Hello?" she answered. "Sis?"

"Sota?" Rin asked.

"C-could you come get me?" Sota asked in a sniffling voice.

"Sota, I thought ma was supposed to come get you. I'll be there though."

"Ya...me too...thanks Rin-chan!" Sota said happily now.

"No prob."

'Its not like mom to forget Sota.' Rin thought.

**Flashbackness**

_A small brownheaded girl sat at her regular place on the bench, waiting for her parents with a smile always plastered to her cute face. A few hours had already passed, but she kept calm, she was used to it. A car screeched up to the bench and the click of a lock sounded. Rin stood up smiling, but frowned when her mother got out of the car. _

_"Rin!" she said tears running down her face. "I'm so sorry, I forgot about you again! Work has gotten so busy lately." Her mother looked at her. "Forgive me?" she asked smiling._

_"Yes mother." Rin said a frown still on her face. 'I forgot about you again.'_

**End Flashbackness**

Rin was at Sota's art school now. Sota was crying again. "Sota." Rin said. Sota turned around wiping the tears from his delicate eyes. "Rin-chan!" He picked himself and ran into her outstretched arms. "Don't worry Sota...I won't ever let you be forgotten again, I'll come get you myself!" Rin smiled at him. "Okay Rin-chan..." Sota hugged her again.

"Lets go get some ice cream!" Rin said smiling deviously. Sota plastered the same smile on his face and they both started to laugh their best maniacal laugh together. Inside jokes between brother and sister are priceless. Rin was thinking that she didn't want Sota seeing anything he shouldn't if they went home now.

Rin held his hand the whole way. She sat down at a table outside away from most people and ordered them a sundae to split. "I have to go to the bathroom." Sota said while he was waiting. "Well go on, but if anybody messes with you scream and kick his ass." Rin winked. Sota smiled at that. Sota walked down the small hall leading to the bathroom.

"Fancy seeing you here Rin." a familiar voice rung in her ears. Rin turned to see that undeniably handsome face look at her with a cold look. "Sesshomaru-sama." Rin bowed her head and looked back up at him. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Getting ice cream?" Rin answered rasing an eyebrow. "Hn." Sesshomaru said.

"What about you?" Rin asked. "Business." he answered solemnly closing his eyes and rubbing his temples. "Hard day?" Rin inquired.

"Hard week." Sesshomaru replied and opened his eyes again. Those golden eyes that sparkled in the sun...that wasn't even out. "Sesshomaru-sama, if you don't like it, why do you do it?" She looked directly at him. "I have no choice in the matter, something you wouldn't understand." He matched her stare.

"Hm...is there anything I could...help you with?" Rin asked shyly. "Not at the moment." Sesshomaru said somewhat dryly. "Oh...well...If I can, just ask." Rin looked at her hands. "Hn."

"Sesshomaru...do you miss...your mother...I mean well, Its probably rare that you do but I just..." Rin stopped. "I'm sorry, I didn-" she was cut off.

"She was strong. I miss her teachings to a certain extent. But not in general, no I do not miss her. I think of her." he answered. Rin smiled softly. "I can only...remember...my mother...with blood all over her. With needles and wires running from her. I can only remember when she cried, or when she forgot me." she looked at her hands and smiled again.

"I think of her too." she said. She looked up at Sesshomaru and sighed. "Well, here..." she got up and scooted into the seat he was in. "Lie your head in my lap." she said. Sesshomaru looked at her for a minute, with his eyebrow up. "Excuse me?" he asked.

Rin sighed and pulled his head unexpectedly in her lap. "Relax." she said. He stared up at her. She started to massage his temples and looked down at him too. Her hands were gentle and the soft look in her eyes made Sesshomaru _almost _feel guilty for not talking to her. He wasn't avoiding her, he was just too busy for petty things. Was Rin petty though?

His eyes were closing unconsciously and Rin smiled softly. She ran her hand through his beautiful hair in an attempt to soothe his headache. 'I guess its working...' Rin thought as Sesshomaru's eyelids relaxed completely over his eyes. His bangs were pushed away from his forehead, showing that beautiful colored moon-shape on it. Rin traced it with her finger, her other hand still running through his hair.

She brought the tracing hand and traced his stripes, then brought her hand down his cheek to touch his lips. She let her hand linger there for a minute then brought it back up to trace his ears. Those pointy ears.

"Whos that?" Rin jumped at the sound of Sota's voice. Sesshomaru opened his eyes and gazed at Rin again. Those brown eyes lit up in surprise. Her hair falling into place on her shoulders. Pale skin, so soft... Rin looked down at him. She blinked and then smiled a silly smile. Sesshomaru sat up and stood up. He turned to walk away. "Sesshomaru..." Rin said quickly. The way she said it...

"I'll see you soon right?" she asked looking him in the eyes. She looked so sad. "Hn." he turned and walked away...'I hate my father.' Sesshomaru said in his thoughts.

kukukukukukukukukukukukukuku

Rin opened the door to her house and yelled out a few names. Her mother came out and looked at Sota. "Oh, Sota, I am sorry, I didn't mean to for-"

Rin cut her off, "It wasn't a problem, he was fine, he was strong. Weren't you Sota?" sota stuck his fist in the air. "Okay...Sota, why don't you go upstairs and get changed? We are going to go out for dinner tonight." Her mother smiled.

Rin sighed. She trudged upstairs after Sota, almost exhausted. Her feet hurt. She looked up to see Kagome staring at her. "Rin..." she said with a red tint splashed over her features. "I didn't see anything." Rin said wearily and went to her room shutting the door behind her. Rin lay down on her soft bed and closed her eyes. Sleeeeeeeeep.

**Dream State**

_Rin walked through a corridor, long, dark, and damp. Her every step echoed perpetually through the halls. Doors that she passed were numbered 1002...1001...1000...and so on. None of the doors intrigued Rin enough to open. She wore a black dress, a veil over her head that trailed behind her. Fog hovered at the floor, and she walked down the corridor as if it were an aisle to her wedding. The door at the end of the hall appeared._

_It was red and the number was 66- (A/N: another six). Rin cautiously opened the door with ease, and stepped inside. She looked up and..._

_She saw a face. It was too dark to know who it was. There was an aura. A bad one. She felt herself falling into its arms. They were strong arms, menacing arms. Almost like she was a rag doll, Rin was dragged away from the light of the hall. _

_The veil made it look darker. She tried to cry out, but it was like she was mute again. Like she wasn't in control. She was pushed down onto a bed. "My Dearest Rin...how shall I do this? Cooperate and I will spare them. Fight and I will kill them all..." said a rough, yet distantly familiar voice. He turned her to her back and started to unzip that black...horrible dress..._

**end Dream State**

Rin awoke to feel sweat running down her, tears falling down her cheeks. She was panting and felt a pain in her back. She pushed the covers that had been placed over her off and stepped up. A sharp pain cutting through the top part of her back brought her to her knees. Rin gasped in pain.

She found the dresser and helped herself up. She looked at her bed...and almost fainted. Her bottom white sheet was covered in blood. She looked in the mirror in panic. Blood covered her arm, that she noticed hurt like hell too. The one with the tatoo thing on it. She turned, gently pulling off her shirt, and looked in the mirror at her back. "Its..." she stared at her reflection. A wound in the shape of a spider. Blood was still pouring and Rin felt like she would pass out. It hurt so bad. She didn't want to move.

Rin tried to walk first. It was working but she almost fell again. Her eyes fell onto the doorknob, it seemed farther away. _I have nothing to fear in this moment, in this moment I have nothing to fear. _A chant from long ago raced through her unstable, panicking brain. Insanely Disturbed brain.

_I have nothing to fear in this moment, in this moment I have nothing to fear. _

But her body began to tremble, and her hand grasped the doorknob just as she fell onto her knees again. She opened the door and crawled out. The nearest phone was downstairs in the kitchen. Downstairs. Rin moaned. "Oh Kami, help me..." her voice quivered. Her vision was blurring. She pulled herself with her arms to the top of the stairs. She looked down them. She grabbed onto the pole of the stairs and pulled herself onto her backside. If she didn't get to a phone she would bleed to death...and who knows where the person who did this was...or even what it was.

Rin pushed herself down and tried to slide slowly down the steps, but the carpet was slippery with her blood and she bumped all the way down, her back burning, with nothing but her bra on. "Ahhhhh...Kaammi!" she grinded out through her teeth, tears spilling down her tight face. She stayed there for a second, panting out what breath she had left.

_I have nothing to fear in this moment, in this moment I have nothing to fear._

'But I do!' she thought and pulled herself into the hallway. Slowly, the light from the kitchen was on her. She pushed open the heavy door as best as she could and pushed with her legs into the kitchen. It was easier to navigate on the slippery floors. She could see black spots in her vision now.

She saw the phone, she saw the note set by it:

_You looked so tired and we didn't want to wake you, so your dinner is in the microwave, dear. We love you, and try to get some sleep._

_love,_

_Mom and Co._

Rin reached her hand up slowly. She gasped in pain. "huuh! Someone..." her voice was small now; She was fading quickly. Just a bit further poor girl, grab your only survival. Her fingers touched the phone, she pushed herself in one last effort and grabbed it. Fortunately, it was a handheld, so the buttons were on the phone itself.

She was losing her mind. She couldn't remember the number she needed, so she dialed the one she remembered the most.

"Hello?" asked a nice feminine voice from the other line.

"W-who is...this?" Rin asked, voice unstable and hoarse, she whispered.

"I should be asking you that, I am Izayoi, so who it this?"

"I-Izayoi...? I don't know you...or...or do I? It so famili-ahhh...I need help...I'm ...dying...Please...where is-" Rin stopped catching her breath, trying to remember any name. "Where is...Sesshomaru?" Rin asked. She saw him. His eyes closed. She felt his lips with her fingers.

"Oh my...Rin? Rin is that you, are you alright? I'm coming to help you stay on the phone! Rin, don't hang up! Stay awake dearest!" Izayoi was running. "Inutaisho!" she screamed. Rin could hear his voice in the background. "Rin is in trouble!"

"Again?"

"Come, we must help her!"

"Yes, I'm way faster than that car. Get on." she heard him say.

"Rin are you there?"

"I don't know who I am...if you say I am Rin then I am...where is Sesshomaru?"she asked in a daze. Her vision was almost gone. Her breathing ragged and failing.

"Please stay awake, we are almost there, I see your house!"

"I-I can't..." Rin said and dropped the phone, fading.


	11. I was dreaming

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. Muffuga.**

Moony: Thanks for the reviews peoples! I'm glad ppl still like it. It helps me write faster. Don't you just love drama? O.O woot! Well, here ya go! chappie 10. Oh yeah...did I scare you ppl? Huh? huh? Sorry...had too many skittles. I like the green ones.

Naru-chan: Bwah?

Sesshy: She was talking about skittles.

Naru-chan: Skittles? Where?(.:begins to dance around maniacally laughing:.)

Moony: Right here! (.:throws bag at him and laughs maniacally too:.)

Naru-chan & Moony: Asante Sana Squashed Banana!

Sesshy: Damn...might as well give me some too...

**Chapter 10- I...was dreaming.**

Pain. Unbearable, searing pain. Thats what she felt. In her arm. In her back. In her heart.

Where was she? What happened? Why so much pain?

She looked around. Her eyes felt heavy. Groggily she tried to speak out. "Hello?" she asked. Her voice echoed. It was so dark. So very dark. She didn't move, the pain in her back and arm disabled her to.

_Hello hello hello hello hello_

She heard her voice in her ears, it sounded weak. 'Thats because you are weak.' she thought to herself as she lay on the floor. 'Thats because you are not strong.'

Rin lay there almost defeated. Her eyes were unfocused and she lay on her stomach, one arm stretched in front of her. For once, she didn't care. She didn't care that it hurt. She didn't care where she was anymore. She didn't care if she lived. What was the point? What the damn point?

There was nothing here. Only darkness. She was floating in darkness and all her memories were fading. She lay there almost defeated...

"Rin." a voice said. Strong and brave. She felt protection in that voice, familiarity. "Rin." the voice said again, an edge to it, like he was telling her what to do. "What?" she asked in an almost wispy voice. "Why can't you just let me die already?" she asked.

"Because you are the only one...who stirs this ones emotions."

"Who are you?" Rin turned onto her back and reached into the darkness. "I can't see you!" she said in desperation. "I am here. I will not harm you. You are safe."

_I will not harm you. You are safe._

Rin smiled. "Then hold me tight and never let me go!" she exclaimed happily, yet demanding. The voice was silent. A sigh was heard.

"That is a promise from this one."

Rin's eyes flew open. _Cough!_ The pain was still there...but the pain in her heart...wasn't so bad. Her vision was blurred. All she could see was a few figures moving around. "Rin!" A kind voice said to her in happiness. "We thought we'd lost you!" she said grabbing the girl in her arms.

"Thank you so much Izayoi-dono." Rin managed to get out. "Don't thank me, it was Sesshomaru-sama who helped you. He went faster than his father." she giggled. Her face was looking clearer and clearer. "Where is Sesshomaru-sama now?" Rin lay her head back down. How exhausted she was.

"He is in the hall, shall I get him?" Izayoi asked. Rin smiled and nodded. Izayoi traveled to the door before looking back. "And Rin..." she began. "Hmm?"

"You're mother is afraid to see you. She says its her fault for leaving you alone. Should I tell her something?"

"Yes...tell her I said that if it was her fault, I wouldn't have been alive, wanting to see her wonderful face again." Rin closed her eyes again. Izayoi smiled softly and nodded. "Very well, dear."

She closed the white paneled door behind her slowly. Izayoi had never seen such compassion in a young girl like that, with such a haunting life. She looked at Sesshomaru. His eyes were closed softly on his face, he looked at peace, but when he had come out with Rin...in honesty, she had never seen him so distressed looking.

"Sesshomaru..."she said softly. His opened his eyes slowly and turned his head to look at Izayoi. "Rin is awake now." He nodded and stood up, hair falling around his shoulders and down his back. He walked past Izayoi and walked into the room, shutting the door behind him.

Sesshomaru closed the door behind him and turned around to face Rin. She was looking at him with tears in her eyes. Sesshomaru stood there for a moment before he stood beside the bed. He looked down at her. Her body was bandaged and she looked sickly, but happy. Why did she insist on being so attached to him? He remembered how mangled she had looked. Eyes closed, blood everywhere, and tear streaks staining her cheeks. Sesshomaru, at first, was angry at her. For being weak.

Then he was angry at himself. For being stupid. Then he just got...well, worried. Rin was losing too much blood as he flew to the hospital in demon speed. Would she survive?

She did though, she survived _again_.

Without warning, Rin threw her covers off of herself and threw her arms around Sesshomaru's neck. Sesshomaru stumbled forwards a bit, having to brace his arms around her. So they stayed like that. Rin on her bed hugging Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru standing beside her bed and embracing her back. Sesshomaru felt her tears soaking his shirt. He felt her tears slide down his neck.

"I didn't know if I would see you again." Rin sniffed and hugged him tighter. Sesshomaru stood there, face impassive. Why? Why did this girl have to be this way? "I thought...that maybe I would die this time."

Sesshomaru remained silent. His arms pulled her towards him fully. Rin gasped. His claws were clutching her, not hurting, but comforting. His breath was hot on her ear. Rin relaxed into his strength and felt peace. Peace of mind, body, and soul. Why? Why did she love him so?

Love? Since when did she...

'Since I laid eyes on him.' she answered herself in her thoughts. Sesshomaru let her cry into his shirt as long as she needed. He took in her scent and sighed.What was he doing? Was he out of his mind?

This crazy, trouble-attracting, _insanely disturbed_ girl was stirring up something inside of him. He hadn't felt this in a while...but it was familiar. Rin laid her head on Sesshomaru's shoulder sighing. Her heart fluttered in her chest and she let her arms rest on his chest as he held her. He was gentle on her back, but still let her know he was there.

Pain could still be felt, but he seemed to dull it, just by being there

The door opened with a creak. Sesshomaru lifted his chin from Rin's head and looked at the intruder. Inuyasha stood with Kagome beside him, they both looked like hell. He felt Rin sigh into his shirt. "Is she okay?" Kagome whispered. Sesshomaru looked at them coldly. They should've been more safe. They should have never left her alone like that.

Rin looked up at Sesshomaru and smiled. "Thank you." she whispered and pecked him on the cheek before he lay her down on her side again. "Hn." he replied and turned to walk away. "Sesshomaru." Rin said, just like that time at the icecream shop. Unsure.

"Will I see you again soon?"she asked.

Oh how Sesshomaru hated his damn father.

kukukukukukukukukukuku

Rin sat in her hospital bed pretending she was asleep. Wind was blowing softly into the room, sighing as it cuddled Rin's cheek. Her mother was talking. She could hear her.

"I just don't want her to be alone. I think it is for the best. Besides...she seems to get along more with him than with anyone anymore and I just can't stand to see her get hurt any longer." her mother cried, Rin could hear the tears in her voice.

Izayoi spoke next. "I'm sure he won't mind, I think he gets along with her well enough. Inutaisho has always been onto Sesshomaru about how he needs an assistant and such. I really do think it will help keep her safe too."

"Hell, I'll force him if I have too...Rin is special. She deserves protection." Inutaisho budded in.

What the hell were they talking about?

Rin opened her eyes and felt the pain begin to wail at her again. Rin was...terrified. The person who did this to her was running around still and could at any time attack her. Her voice was hoarse from crying and constant sleep. "Mom!" she tried to yell, but her voice came out raspy and broken. She buzzed the nurse.

"Yes? Do you need help Rin?" asked the nurse over the intercom. Rin paused. "Yes..." she tried to speak. "Could you get my mother to come to me?" she managed to get out. "Of course dear." The red button went off and Rin stared at the ceiling.

A few moments later her mother was by her side. "Are you alright Rin?" her mother's eyes were swollen and she looked terrible. "I-I'm just a little shaken up right now, could you sit with me?" Rin asked shyly, she wasn't good at communicating with her mother right now.

"Of course dear." her mother put on a smile and sat down next to Rin's knees. Her mother looked at her for a second. "I remember when we first brought you home...you wouldn't stop hugging us all and telling us how much you loved us. You always went around with Grandpa throwing sutras at "evil" squirrels and things." her mother paused. She sighed and smiled at Rin brightly. "I used to be a good mother. I used to pay attention to everything my children did...but now--" her mother choked on tears as she smiled. "--now I am a selfish mother! I needed t-"

"Shutup." Rin said looking at her mother.

"Wh-what?" her mother looked at her increduously. "I didn't stutter." Rin said and sat up. "That right there is the only way you are selfish. That right there. If you blame yourself for what happened to me that is just being selfish." Mrs. Higurashi looked at Rin helplessly.

"The only way I could be completely happy is if you were completely happy. That you tended to your needs too. That you have love in your life...Sure Sota needs you, but right now hes got me until I leave." Rin said placing a hand on her mothers face. "So be happy." Rin smiled prettily at her mother.

"Oh Rin!" her mother hugged her crying out loud. Rin smiled to herself. 'Poor mom.' she thought. "Thank you...I am glad that we went to that orphanage that day."

"Me too." Rin said.

kukukukukukukukukukukuku

Rin stared out of the window as the cold chill settled onto her pale skin. She breathed in the fresh air and sighed.

"Its nice out there today." said a voice from behind her. Rin looked at her sister with a small smile on her lips. "Hey Kagome." Rin murmured looking back out of the window, the clouds gray and fluffy.

"Mom is really happy today too."

"I'm glad to hear it."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm glad to hear it." Rin repeated looking at her sister. "Don't worry about it Kagome...really." Rin smiled weakly. "At least I get to miss a few weeks of school." Rin turned her smile into that of a devious one and Kagome giggled. "You're so strong, Rin. I just wish I could be that way." Kagome looked out of the window too, her brown eyes searching the distance.

"You're getting there." Rin said, pushing Kagome a little on the arm. "So...you and Inuyasha getting that far into the relationship already." Rin winked and nudged at Kagome. Kagome turned scarlet and stuttered, "M-maybe."

"There is no maybe to it! I saw what you were doing and I was almost blinded!" Rin laughed. Kagome stuck her tongue at her. "You're just jealous that you don't have a boyfriend." Kagome said nodding her head. "Yeah right."

"I bet you haven't even had your first kiss yet!" Kagome challenged her. "Yes I have!" Rin yelled indignantly. "Un-uh!"

"Yes-huh!"

"With who then?"

"Sessho- I m-mean...no one." A blush creeped over Rin's face quickly and Kagome squealed. "_Sesshomaru?_" she jumped up.

"No!" Rin said and looked at Kagome. Kagome had an excited look on her face and she smiled deviously. "How good was it?"

Rin smiled dreamily at the memory. The way he had touched her...

"AH HA! I see that look! You little whore!" Rin gasped and crossed her arms. "I wouldn't be talking Ms. New Booty." she said to Kagome who laughed. "Yeah, yeah."

kukukukukukukukukukukukuku

A tune escaped Rin's mouth as she sat in her favorite spot beside the window. She opened the box her mother gave her of a few things and pulled out her diary. She pulled out a small pen and began to write:

Dear Diary of The Insanely Disturbed,

So much has happened since I've last written in you're fine pages. I've been attacked. I don't know by who or why, but I have a feeling I know who it is. How could I think he was dead? He is _him _after all. Sesshomaru did a really weird thing. He hugged me. Actually put his arms around my body and it felt like he needed it more than I did. Its like he actually showed emotion you know? Besides sarcasm and no feelings at all. I felt...safe! I felt free in his arms and I didn't want him to let go. I've been in this hospital for a few weeks now and they are letting me out tomorrow. My mother wanted me to stay. You see...I'm afraid of going out now. I can't help it really. I mean...I can go out, as long as there is someone with me. That pain...it was so real...I saw death. I did. It was the worst pain yet. Oh Diary...you're the only thing that keeps me going...you and seeing Sesshomaru's face. I think I am truly in love with him. I don't know how it happened, but it did. Maybe it was at that party...or maybe it was when he saved me...I don't really care. I just love him. I wonder what he feels about me. Hes always so cold. I have to go.

love,

Rin

Rin closed the diary and was tempted to look at the pages she'd written so far. She had come a long way and it was all very confusing. Tomorrow she'd be getting out and going home. She sighed. What a long day.

--------------------

Moony: WOOT! You all thought she was gunna die or something. HA! I take forever to update...but thats whacha get for not paying attention in school. I got another 'f' in math, but I managed to bring all my other classes up considerably! That was a good thing. This chapter touches base and its pretty much getting you ready for the next phase of story where I surprise you all and it'll be good. I'll try to update as much as I can, but I'm not promising anything.

Naraku: Its been so good being stuck with you Moony..

Sesshy: If you enjoy the kinkyness that unfolds when you are around her...

Naraku: Exactly.

Sesshy: I guess.

Moony: hey, I'm right here ya know? TT-TT


	12. Sorry

**Discontinuation...**

**IMPORTANT NOTE!**

**Hi, moonlitStarDestiny here. I'm not sure where to start. I know that there are people waiting to read the rest of my stories...but I'm afraid that I'll have to discontinue them for specific reasons that I want to remain hidden. I LOVE you people here at FF dot net. You ALL make me smile and laugh and just want to be happy, because of your wonderful reviews and stories. But...FF dot net _is _just for practicing writing and such stuff like that...which I have very little time to do just that. **

**I've loved my whole experience here and I just wanted to thank all of my reviewers who stuck with me, even though I didn't update too much and a few of my stories just sucked ass. -insert smile here- I'm sure half of you aren't reading this, but if you are, I am truly sorry if you liked my stories at all. They _are _just stories though. And I need to focus on school and other things now. You people have made these past 3 years go by wonderfully, when I didn't have anything _but _these stories. YOU PEOPLE ROCK!**

**N-e-wayz...Thankthankthankthankthankthank YOU for everything you guys/girls. I'll keep you in my prayers and thoughts. **

**lovelovelovelovelovelove,**

**moonlitStarDestiny**

**(who is just a _little _bit too attached to this site)**


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